Always Available
by Amethyst Turtle
Summary: Garfield goes on twelve dates with twelve different girls. Guess who he ends up with? AU Modern Time. FINALLY UPDATED!
1. Awkward Dinner With Jinx

AN: It's simple- one "date" per chapter. There will be twelve total, signifying 12 prominent female characters in the series. Raven, Starfire, Blackfire, Kitten, Madame Rouge, Kole, Melvin, Jinx, Pantha, Terra, and Bumblebee... not Mother Mae Eye. Nor Wonder Girl (sorry), since one is just plain scary while the other didn't appear in the series...  
Pairings? Maybe... or not. It depends on how you interpret it.  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Awkward Dinner with Jinx

"Hey man, you going out?" Victor asked from below an impossibly large weight. His roommate looked over at him from the kitchen counter.

"Yeah. I got a date!" Garfield proudly said.

Victor scoffed. "You? A date? Is this another one of your dorky jokes? Cuz it ain't very funny."

"Seriously." Garfield adjusted a tie that he had borrowed from Victor. "I picked up this cute chick with pink hair at the supermarket. I'm taking her to The Source, that fancy vegetarian restaurant on the edge of town."

"Pink hair, hm? I think she might be one of Karen's friends. She sure knows a lot of weird people." Victor had set his weights aside and was now wiping his dark skin with a damp towel. "Said her name was… uh…"

"Yeah?" Garfield prompted.

"I forgot." Victor threw up his hands. "You tell me."

Garfield rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Ah, well. I didn't exactly get her name."

"Yo! What's that all about? You ask a girl out and you don't even know her name?" Victor looked at his friend in disbelief.

"I'll just ask her when I meet her at the restaurant, 'kay? Is there anything wrong with that?"

Victor shook his head. "You have seriously got to read one of those dating advice books."

--X--

Garfield nervously wrung his hands in front of the small apartment building. He fidgeted with his tie, sprayed some more deodorant on his armpits, and popped a mint in his mouth. After a few minutes, the front gate opened with a loud creak.

"Oh… you look great!" Garfield said, handing his date a bunch of flowers with a price tag still dangling from a stem. He swept his eyes up and down her rather casual black dress and hot pink hair fashioned into two pigtails that stuck out from either side of her head. "So… what's your name again?"

The girl snorted. "Classy. You can call me Jinx, but that isn't my real name."

"Ooh, being mysterious, are we?" Garfield chuckled in what he thought was a suave way. Jinx rolled her eyes but allowed Garfield to lead her to his car.

"This is just temporary." He said, motioning to the rusting and boxy vehicle. "I'm gonna get a Moped, once I get enough money." Jinx nodded briefly and slipped into the passenger seat.

The car ride to The Source was rather silent. Jinx gazed down at the bunch of red roses in her hand and Garfield tried not to breathe too loudly and chose to keep his eyes firmly glued to the road. He had just gotten his license at the age of seventeen, and he didn't want to lose it just yet.

When they finally reached The Source, Garfield parked the car and carefully held the door open for Jinx, making sure that she didn't snag her hair on the bits of wire and metal sticking out from the door.

"So… what's this place?" Jinx asked, leaving the roses in the car seat. "I've never been here before."

"It's called The Source." Garfield explained. "They serve the best salad and tofu ever! It's really great, I'm sure you'll like it!"

Garfield continued chattering on about the fresh vegetables they had, failing to notice Jinx's bored, if possibly annoyed, expression.

"Eh. I'm more of a grilled fish kind of girl." Jinx said. Garfield took a deep breath and linked their arms together as they stepped inside. An overly cheerful waiter led them to their table.

"Hi! I'm Bob! If you need anything tonight, just ask me! I'm Bob!" the grinning man said, handing them menus and filling up their water glasses.

"He's weird." Jinx whispered as he walked away.

"Yeah. I think it's part of the employee standards here, or something." Garfield said, sticking his straw up his nose as if it were perfectly normal to do so.

Jinx frowned at his juvenile act but didn't say anything.

"I think I'm going to have the fried tofu with summer squash soup. How about you?" Garfield asked from behind the menu he was holding up.

"I'm not really hungry." Jinx said idly, gazing to the side.

"Come on! You've gotta eat something! I mean, you're as thin as a twig!" Garfield said, thinking it as a compliment.

"Hey, if you have a problem with my figure-"

"Alrighty then! It's me, Bob! Are we ready to order?" Jinx glowered at Garfield and sank back in her seat. Garfield gulped nervously.

"Uh, we'll both have the fried tofu with summer squash soup, then." Garfield tried to avoid Jinx's burning stare.

"Okay! Your orders will be ready shortly! And remember, I'm Bob!"

"Yeah, we got that already." Jinx said crossly. "You can beat it."

Bob's smile didn't falter at her rudeness. He walked away, perfectly chipper.

"Jinx, what's the matter?" Garfield asked concernedly. "You seem really upset about something."

"Oh, you finally noticed? In case you forgot, I just broke up with my boyfriend last week." Jinx scowled.

"What? You never told me!"

"I told you that _when you asked me out_." Jinx hissed, narrowing her eyes.

"Really! Uh…"

Garfield was saved from having to answer when a tall guy around his age with flaming red hair approached their table with a sense of urgency in his stride. Jinx wrinkled her nose at the sight of him, but Garfield thought he saw a small glimmer in her eye.

"Wally? What are you doing here? How the hell did you find me?"

"Does that really matter right now?"

"Uh, it kinda does, you stalker!"

"Jinx, please." Wally grabbed her ashen hand with a pleading look on his face. He didn't acknowledge Garfield's presence. "I'm really sorry. I just can't bear being without you."

Jinx rolled her eyes. "You can quit the corny lines. When I dumped you, I meant it."

"I thought you were joking."

"Do I ever kid around?"

"…No. Not really."

"So there. Get to the point, Wally."

"What I'm trying to say is…" Wally offered a crooked smile. "I really want to get back with you. I thought back on what I did, and I promise. I'll never flirt with another girl again. You're the only girl for me. So, what do you say?"

"I told you. Quit being so corny." Nevertheless, Jinx threw herself in Wally's arms and hugged him. She looked back at a speechless Garfield. "Sorry, Gar, but I guess I'm taken now. Bye."

"Oh, hey Garfield." Wally nodded at him, his arm slung around Jinx's shoulders. "Nice seeing ya again. Come on, Jinx. Let's go."

Garfield sat there, his mouth wide open, as the couple left the restaurant without another word.

"Hi! It's me, Bob! I have your food!"

Garfield looked at him sadly and smiled. "No thanks, Bob. I'll just have the check."

--X--

"So, how'd it go?" Victor asked as Garfield shut the door behind him. He was sprawled out on the couch watching some football movie on TV.

Garfield sighed and collapsed next to him, tossing his tie and jacket on the floor. "You know Wally West? High school track, cross-country, and soccer star?"

"Oh yeah. He's a cool guy. What about him?"

"Turns out he was Jinx's former ex-boyfriend. They made up in the middle of our date." Garfield sighed again. "It's not every night that your date ends up with another dude."

"Hm. Sorry about that. Well, there's plenty of cows in the field."

"Don't you mean fish in the sea?"

"Nah. Beef is much better than fish."

"Oh."

--X--

AN: Yaay. 11 more chapters to go! :D  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	2. Formal Party with Toni

AN: Heeere's chapter two. :3  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Formal Party with Toni

Garfield entered the cluttered living room, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Victor was sitting at the table, eating a sandwich with barbecue sauce dripping down his hands..

"'Bout time you got up." Victor mumbled, bits of roast beef falling out his mouth. "It's already noon."

"Sorry. Guess I shouldn't have stayed up all night playing video games." Garfield chuckled.

"Whatever. Get something to eat before you starve yourself, string bean." Victor tossed him a bottle of soda and pointed at the fridge squatting in the corner.

"Nah, I think I'm going to go out. I needed to get Dick a birthday present, anyways." Garfield set the bottle on the counter and grabbed his jacket from the coat hanger.

"Oh yeah. He's having some big party tonight, right?" Victor asked.

"Right. And I have no idea what to get him. Hey, you think he'll like a gift card for Toys'R'Us?"

"Only you would. You might as well get him an ipod, or something."

"He already has one. Or two. I forgot." Garfield opened the door. "Well, I'm outta here. Later, dude."

"Alright. Later."

--X--

Garfield hummed as he strolled through the aisle, pushing a squeaky shopping cart in front of him.

"Hmm… maybe some tofu… I'm sure Dick likes tofu…" Garfield muttered, examining a pack of Happy Cow brand tofu, still walking. "No… maybe- _oof!_"

"Ow! Hey, watch it!"

Garfield looked up, the cart handle digging into his stomach. He had bumped into a pale girl with highlighted black hair, wearing a black skirt and a corset that matched dead on with her spiky do.

"Oh, sorry." Garfield said absentmindedly. He turned back to the array of vegetables beside him. "Hm… or I could… wait a minute!"

He seemed to just realize that a girl, a real live girl his age, had just talked to him, if not briefly. Garfield dropped the pack of tofu and dashed after the gothic chick who was walking away.

"Wait! I didn't get your name!" Garfield called. The girl turned around.

"It's Toni. Toni Monetti. What do you want?" she said with a distinctive British accent.

"I'm Garfield Logan. Well, I, uh, was wondering if…" Garfield trailed off. What was he supposed to say? Ask her out? No, that was too predictable. Try one of his pickup lines? As if. They almost never worked, and usually they caused girls to call the cops on him.

"Yeah?" Toni prompted, tapping her fingers on her arms impatiently.

"If you wanted to go to Richard Grayson's birthday party with me tonight." Garfield blurted out. He nearly smacked himself. What was he thinking? Dick clearly said that no extra guests were allowed without his consent.

Toni laughed. "Richard Grayson? That really rich guy with the multi-millionaire daddy? You know him?"

"Uh huh. He's a close friend." Garfield said as humbly as possible.

"Well, I've never been to a rich peoples' party before. Okay then. It's a date." Toni handed a stunned Garfield a piece of paper with her phone number and address on it. "Pick me up at six."

She walked away with a small smile, leaving Garfield standing there with his eyes bugging out.

--X--

"Woo hoo!" Garfield whooped, leaping into his apartment. Victor was just pulling his jacket on, trying to loosen his very tight tie without making it look too uneven at the same time. "Vic, dude, I got a date for Dick's party!"

"I thought Dick said that no extra guests were allowed." Victor frowned.

"Aw, come on. Toni's a cool chick, and I'm sure Dick won't notice just _one _extra person."

"There's a guest list. They check every person over."

"What?"

"Apparently Bruce has had a few death threats and attempted anthrax attacks lately, so they're taking extra precautions." Victor said. "Why don't you just call Dick and ask him if you can bring a date?"

"Hm. I didn't think of that."

"Of course you didn't. Come on. I'll drive you to this Toni's place to pick her up. I'm sure you don't want to drive that old rust bucket of yours to a grand affair like this." Victor chuckled.

Garfield mumbled something about a Moped but changed into his suit and followed Victor to his shiny, silver, sleek vehicle and hopped into the back seat without any protesting.

--X--

"Wow. Nice show up." Toni said, looking at the growing line leading to the front door of the eloquent manor. "How many people does Richard know, anyways?"

"A lot. But I think most of these are Bruce's business colleagues, and stuff." Garfield said.

"Of course. Leave it to Bruce to turn his own adopted son's party into a business opportunity." Victor rolled his eyes.

"Hey, there you guys are!" a guy in an Italian suit and with dark spiky hair walked up to them: Richard Grayson. "I was looking for you. You can follow me to the back entrance so you don't have to wait in that line."

"What's up, man?" Victor gave him a high five.

"Dude! Is it okay if I brought a date?" Garfield threw all greetings aside. "This is Toni Monetti."

Dick nodded politely. "Nice to meet you. Yeah, Gar, it's cool. Come on. Let's go inside."

"He doesn't seem like a stuck up Richie-rich." Toni whispered as they walked behind him.

"Yeah. He's a pretty cool guy." Garfield said. He was secretly relieved, given that he had imagined that Richard would throw a fuss about an extra guest.

The four of them stumbled through thick hedges in the darkness until they reached an exquisitely carved door at least twelve feet tall. Toni raised her eyebrows.

"Nice door. Your windows as fancy as this?"

Richard shrugged and heaved the door open, leading them through a set of dimly lit hallways lined with thick rugs until they came upon an enormous antechamber filled with milling guests and waiters gliding back and forth with platters of food.

"Well, this is it." Dick motioned forth. "Go on. You can get food, drinks, talk with other people, and whatever else you like. Oh, and the door on the left side of the second hallway to the right is strictly off limits. If you need to go to the bathroom, go up the stairs, but not the glass ones, walk through the fourth hall, take a left turn, take three right turns, another left turn, go through the third door to the right, then take another flight of stairs and you'll see a sign pointing to the restrooms. Any questions? No? Okay then, have fun." He walked away to greet some arriving guests.

"I guess I won't be going to fix my makeup any time soon." Toni said dryly, watching Dick's retreating figure.

"So you wanna go find some people we know?" Garfield asked, trying to see above the sea of heads.

"Wait, I think I see Fixit, that guy from the car garage. I'm going to say hi to him." Victor eased his way into the crowd, disappearing in an instant.

"I don't think I would know anyone here." Toni said.

"Oh."

For a few minutes, Garfield and Toni stood side by side, unsure what to do.

"I think there's going to be a dance session later, and a magician, and some fire dancers." Garfield spoke up.

"Is that so?" Toni said. "That sounds cool. Let's go then, shall we?"

She offered her arm to Garfield, who took it as the two entered the slowly moving crowd. Eventually they came upon a small stage with a man in a mask pulling hamsters out of his ears and mouth. Toni shuddered.

"Well, he's certainly creepy. Let's find those fire dancers." Toni said. A loud crash suddenly resonated through the antechamber. Glass shards flew across the room as people screamed and bumped into each other in a futile attempt to reach safety. Security guards in navy blue jackets roared directions at one another as they sprinted toward the site of the crash.

"Toni! Stay with me! I'll protect you!" Garfield yelled over the panic, clutching her arm.

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much!" Toni yelled back. She looked above him. "Oh! There!"

Several bricks had been launched through the glass windows and were lying haphazardly on the floor. Thankfully, no one had been hit. Garfield caught sight of Dick sprinting over to the scene of the crash. A taller man was right behind him, a scowl etched on his face.

After the guests had been calmed down, the tall man spoke out in a booming voice.

"No one has been hurt. It seems like a few pranksters decided to attempt to crash Richard's party." The man said. A few nervous chuckles scattered through the throng of partygoers. "The premises are currently being swept by the guards. You may all return to your activities. Please, don't let it ruin the mood. Enjoy the rest of the party, everyone."

--X--

"It was that delinquent, I know it was!" Dick seethed, pacing in Garfield and Victor's apartment. "That guy who calls himself 'Red X.' He's been out to get me ever since Bruce put his no good dad in the state prison."

"So you've basically got some guy determined to kill you?" Toni asked.

"Pretty much."

"Dude, you've gotta get some bodyguards or something." Garfield said.

"For once, I agree with Gar." Victor said. "Dick, you're our friend. We don't want no psycho trying to cut your head off."

"I'll be fine, guys. I took self-defense classes, remember? I'm a black-belt." Dick said.

"But would that protect you against guns, or riflemen?" Victor asked.

"Well… maybe just one escort, then."

"I thought so."

Toni stood up and stretched her arms. "Well, it's been a fun night. I guess I'll go home now. Thanks for taking me, Garfield."

"Wait, you wanna go on another date tomorrow?" Garfield asked.

"Yo! Haven't you ever read the rules of dating?" Victor hissed, elbowing Garfield's ribs.

Toni laughed. "No thanks. Actually, I'd rather just be friends. Maybe we can all hang out at the mall."

Garfield slumped down in his seat. "Oh yeah. Friends."

"Bye."

"I should go, too. I needed to talk to Kory about something, anyways." Richard said. He grabbed his coat and left shortly after Toni had. Garfield sighed and pulled out some microwave pizzas from the freezer.

"It's not really healthy to eat that much, you know." Victor warned.

"Whatever." Garfield said, watching the little pizzas rotate in the microwave.

--X--

AN: The Red X thing may or may not be important to the plot later on. Who knows?  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	3. Quiet Stroll with Kory

AN: Hummm. It's not BBxStar, don't worry.  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Quiet Stroll with Kory

"It's a brand new daaaay!" Garfield sang off key, waltzing into the kitchen.

"What's up with you, Mr. Happy?" Victor asked.

"Well, I have just found out that Dick is _single_ again." Garfield smiled.

"Wa-wait, what? Man, that sounds so wrong."

"That's not what I meant! Think about it. He's _single_, which means he broke up with Kory _again_, which means _Kory_ is officially available! Again!" Garfield grinned triumphantly.

Victor tsked and shook his head. "Man, how many times are they going to split up? This must be what, the eighth time?"

"The ninth." Garfield corrected, pouring cereal in a bowl.

"Well, it doesn't mean you'll get a shot with Kory. They always make up after a few days. Always. And besides, Dick isn't really that interested in any other girls besides her." Victor said.

"But it also doesn't mean that I can't give a shot, right?"

"Wouldn't it be awkward, though? I mean, you guys are close friends. Close friends normally don't date."

"But it also doesn't mean that I can't give a shot, right?"

"You already said that."

"But it also doesn't mean that I can't give a shot, right?"

"Seriously! You know how Kory gets all gloomy after each breakup."

"But it also doesn't mean th-"

"I give up."

Garfield grinned widely, slurped down his cereal, and grabbed his car keys.

--X--

Garfield knocked on the door of the Anders mansion. He slicked back his hair and picked a bit of grain from between his teeth. After a couple seconds, the door swung open.

"What? Who the hell are you?" It was Kory's older sister, Komi. She narrowed her dark purple eyes at the sight of the younger boy and prepared to slam the door in his face.

"Wait! I'm Garfield, one of Kory's friends. Don't you remember me, Komi?" Garfield asked quickly.

She rolled her eyes. "I changed my name. It's Black, now. Komi is so overrated."

"Isn't Black a dog's name?" Garfield asked before he could stop himself. He slapped a hand over his mouth a second too late.

Black's eyes narrowed even further. "You calling me a bitch?"

"Wha -no! I-I just…"

"Oh, hi Gar. Blackie, you can go now." Kory popped up from behind her sister.

Black flipped him off and slipped away.

"Nice sister." Garfield muttered, involuntarily shuddering.

"I know." Kory rolled her eyes. "So, why did you come?"

"Do you want to go have lunch with me, maybe go to the park?" Garfield asked.

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Well… yeah."

"Gar, I just broke up with Richard." Kory said softly. Garfield frantically ran through his thoughts for an alternative. He noticed that Kory used Dick's formal name, normally reserved for those not so close to him.

"How about we just go out as friends?"

"I'd… I'd like that."

--X--

Kory and Gar strolled through the park, the bright summer sun shining down upon them.

"So, how's you're job at the pool?" Garfield asked, trying to stir up some conversation.

"Good, good. My Richards are quite long, though." Kory said absentmindedly.

"You're what's long, now?"

"My shifts. They're nearly nine hours long."

"You said Richards."

"What are you talking about?"

"Uh… so… how's Galfore?" Galfore was a close family friend to the Anders.

"He's doing well. He just got a job as a professor at Richard State University."

"Richard State University?"

"No, I said California State University."

"Uh…" Garfield decided to abandon his attempts at conversation.

A few passing guys ogled Kory's slim figure and fiery shimmering hair, and Gar tried his best to ignore them. After a tall, muscular guy grinned and winked at Kory, Gar finally spoke out.

"Kory, don't you ever get annoyed by all these dudes flirting with you?" Garfield blurted out, glaring at another gangly teen walking by.

Kory chuckled sadly. "I guess beauty can be a curse, sometimes. All I can do is ignore them and hope they go away. But when I was with R-Richard, they usually left me alone…" she trailed off, looking off to the side.

"Aw, it's gonna be alright." Garfield said comfortingly, patting her back. She smiled.

"Thank you, Gar."

"No problem!"

--X--

"Hey Kory, Garfield." Rachel greeted dully, nodding in their direction.

"Nice outfit, Rachel!" Garfield said. Rachel was wearing a black pink apron and an oversized hat that kept slipping over her eyes.

"Shut up. It's the new uniform design." Rachel scowled. She worked at the museum café as a cashier.

Garfield cleared his throat. "Ah, yes. I'd like a vanilla latte with extra whipped cream, and a little kiss just as a little side dish." He grinned and waggled his eyebrows at her.

"You sure you don't want a hot chocolate? It's really popular among the kids." Rachel rolled her eyes. "And you, Kory?"

"Nothing for me, thanks."

"My break starts in a couple minutes, so just wait for me."

Garfield and Kory took a seat at a small table and waited for Rachel to finish up. She frowned as her boss, an aging man with crooked teeth and gray hair that was probably once a bright red, walked up to her and gave her a hearty thump on her back.

"You're doing great, my little ducky! You're the only one who lasted for more than six months, so it seems!" he said cheerfully in a thick British accent.

"Thanks, Mr. Mod." Rachel muttered, concentrating on cleaning out the blender.

"Oh, call me Uncle Moddy! It makes me feel closer, you know?"

"No thanks, Mr. Mod."

"Well, there's no need to be such a sourpuss now, does it? What you need is a healthy dose of good old fashioned English medicine, just like Mum used to make. Blimey, that bloody stuff makes you jitter around like someone stuck a hot poker straight up your-"

"Oh, would you look at that. It's my break. I'll see you in fifteen minutes, Mr. Mod." Rachel hastily edged around the counter and yanked her apron and hat off. "Come on, Kory, Garfield. Let's get out of here."

"Alright, Rachel. Be sure to watch out for the Yankees! They'll cut your tongue out and feed it to the hogs, they will!"

The three left the café and walked over to the Greek exhibit, their usual meeting spot.

"I swear, if it weren't for all the free tea Mr. Mod gave me, I would have quit after my first day." Rachel said. "He's a nutcase."

"Mr. Mod seems like a fun person." Kory said, examining a plaster model of a man being beheaded.

"You like everyone. It's impossible for you to feel _hate_." Rachel pointed out.

"Is there anything Richard with that?"

Rachel looked quizzically at Garfield. He shook his head and motioned for her to not question Kory.

Rachel flashed one of her rare smiles at Kory. "So, Garfield, what's new with you?"

"Nothing much. Vic and I got a new couch. Oh, and some guy's trying to assassinate Dick, or something like that." Garfield said casually.

"What?" Rachel whipped around.

"We got a new couch."

"No, I meant- ah, forget it. My break ends in two. I'll see you guys later." Rachel stood up and walked away, leaving Garfield and Kory in the relatively empty room alone.

A few silent seconds trickled by. Kory continued studying the headless mannequin, fake blood and several heads with a faces twisted in pain a few feet away from it.

"I'm going home, now. Thanks for bringing me out, Garfield." Kory said quietly.

"Kory…"

"It's okay. I'll get over R-Richard, eventually." She quickly walked away without looking Garfield in the eye.

He could have sworn that he heard a soft sob echo through the vast halls of the museum a few seconds later.

--X--

"She still not over him?" Victor asked once Garfield entered the apartment.

"No." Garfield sadly answered.

"I told you to leave her alone. But no. You just _had _to go and be all Mr. Happy right after her break up with Dick."

"Well, excuse me for trying to cheer up a friend!" Garfield snapped.

"Sorry man. I understand. I just hate seeing her trying so hard pretending to be all cheerful, you know?"

"Yeah."

"How could Dick hurt someone as sweet as Kory? As far as I know, Kory's never said a cross word to anyone, ever. She's the nicest person I've ever met." Victor slammed his fist on the table.

"But Kory's a strong girl. She can take care of herself." Garfield pointed out.

Victor nodded in agreement.

--X--

AN: It's the classic break-up-make-up. Hooray!  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	4. Intense Workout with Rosabelle

AN: Weeee. :D  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Intense Workout with Rosabelle

Garfield Logan wasn't always one to judge. Sure, he usually approached a girl if he thought she looked nice, but he was never bitter towards any, let's say, less attractive people. After all, he was a really nice guy by most peoples' standards.

"Never judge a loaf of bread by its crust!" He would always laugh.

Of course, though, there are always exceptions.

--X--

"Garfield! Help me!" Victor cried, slamming the door behind him and pressing against it.

"Vic, what's wrong? Is it a ninja attack? I warned you, didn't I?" Garfield stood up and posed in what he hoped was a threatening fighting stance.

"First off, it's not a life or death situation, so you can put your elbows down." Victor rolled his eyes. What sounded like an elephant stampeding down the hall reached their ears. "On second thought, maybe it is. Hide me, man!"

Victor dove underneath the table and pulled the tablecloth down, shielding him from view but sending a bowl of half-eaten cereal crashing down onto the hardwood floor.

"Dude! My Wheaty LeBlanc!" Garfield groaned.

"Sh! Shut up!" Victor hissed from behind the checkered cloth. As if on cue, an enormous thud resonated from the front door. They both swore they heard it crack slightly. A bit of dust lightly rained down from the ceiling.

_Thud!_

"Here she comes!" Victor whispered fearfully.

_Thud!_

_CRASH!_

The door was completely knocked off its hinges, sending another shower of dust down in the room, obscuring the large figure in the doorway.

"Uh…" Garfield tried not to shake in fear. The figure strode through the curtain of dust, revealing it to be a rather muscular woman wearing a skintight shirt and khaki shorts that showed off her impressive muscles.

"Where is Victor?" the woman growled in a thick Spanish accent. "Our wrestling match is not over yet."

"I-I think you're in the wrong room, ma'am. There's not Victor here, never heard of him, never have, no Victor here at all!" Garfield chattered, grinning nervously.

"Do you take me for an idiot?" the woman raised a brow.

"N-not at all ma'am! You look like a genius, a complete genius, not stupid at all!"

"I thought so. VICTOR!" the woman roared loudly, making Garfield cringe.

"Why do you want to see him?" Garfield whimpered, holding his arms in front of his face.

"He agreed to wrestle me, and so I complied. But, he became chicken and ran off." The woman said, cracking her knuckles.

"Yo! I did no such thing! You tried to snap my back!" Victor said indignantly, emerging from his hiding spot. "Uh, I mean…"

"Ah, Victor! Come to finish what we have started, eh?" the woman approached him, hands flexing and biceps bulging.

"No! I- Rosabelle- ah…" Victor stuttered, frozen on the spot. Then, without warning, he let out an ear-splitting scream. "AUUUGGGHHH!!!" He sprinted towards the door before the woman could react and ran out, his footsteps already fading away.

Garfield couldn't believe what just happened. The woman looked at him.

"I do not believe we were able to be introduced. I am Rosabelle Mendez, greatest wrestler to ever live in America! And you are?"

"G-Garfield Logan, ma'am."

"Stop with the formal talk. Wrestlers do not do so; we refer to each other as amigos!" Rosabelle slung an arm as thick as Garfield's torso around his neck, acting as if she was not hunting his friend down earlier. "Come, friend of Victor's, we go to the Gym!"

--X--

Garfield couldn't stop shaking the whole way. Rosabelle was talking about how Victor and she went way back, but he couldn't quite catch everything she said. She was easily twice as tall as him, and tenfold times muscular. Everything from her fiery expression to her wild, dark hair intimidated him.

"And so I managed to convince Victor to become my wrestling partner, but he did not exactly live up to my expectations. He was too weak!" she said, pounding a fist into a hand.

"Y-yeah. Weak!" Garfield weakly imitated her.

"But I am sure you will do fine, yes?" Rosabelle looked down at him. Garfield gulped, and a mental image of Rosabelle crushing him with a single foot suddenly came to mind.

"Ah, here we are! The Gym!" Rosabelle pulled the poor boy into the facility. It smelled like sweat and fear.

"Maybe I aught to sit out for the day…"

"No! No! Resting is for the weak! Come, to the wrestling ring!" Rosabelle grabbed his arm again and yanked him into another room. A large mat was placed in the center of the floor, and two figures were rolling around on it. A small amount of watchers sat by, talking quietly among themselves.

"Well well well… if it isn't Miss Mendez?" a husky voice growled amusedly from the shadows. A large man with greasy brown hair and a thick beard stepped out. His frame was nearly as large as Rosabelle's, and nearly as muscular.

"Hello, Mammoth." Rosabelle said coldly. "I see that you have shrunk since the last time we met."

"Shut up. I'll kick your ass this time. I swear I will." Mammoth scowled. He stalked away to join a very short boy who looked like he belonged in an elementary school instead of a gym.

"That is Baran Flinders, but everybody calls him Mammoth for a very stupid reason." Rosabelle said.

"What's that?"

"He thinks the name 'Mammoth' is more impressive. Quite pathetic, no?"

"Yeah, I guess."

The small crowd clapped half-heartedly as the two wrestlers walked off the mat. One of them walked up to Garfield.

"Hey Gar! Didn't expect to ever meet you here." Dick said cheerfully, wiping off his face with a towel.

"I never expected to come here, either." Garfield muttered. He blinked as he recognized the other wrestler. "Kory?"

"Yeah, Dick and I are back together. Isn't that great?" Kory smiled. Her long red hair was tied back, so it was difficult to see who she was at first. Dick pecked her on the cheek and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"We were just training. Gotta stay in shape, you know?" Dick grinned. Kory giggled.

"Training for what?" Garfield asked, though he felt he already knew the answer.

"Bah! This is no place for mushy love!" Rosabelle scoffed. "If you must wrestle, you must wrestle for the passion, for the fiery adrenaline of the fight!"

"Er… okay. Richard Grayson. This is my girlfriend, Kory Anders." Dick offered a hand.

"Formalities are not a part of the wrestling!" Rosabelle lightly smacked his hand away. "But I must admit, you two had good form. Keep up the good work, children!"

"Uh, bye then." Dick walked away, his arm still around Kory. Kory smiled questioningly at Garfield over her shoulder. He shrugged.

"Now then, I suppose it is for the Pantha's turn to shine!" Rosabelle said.

"Pantha?"

"Mi nombre, mi nombre!" Rosabelle said impatiently. She pushed several people aside to step onto the ring. "Alright, who is brave enough to come up against the mighty Pantha?"

"That would be me." Mammoth grinned evilly, cracking his knuckles. The referee drawled out the rules and brought down an arm to start the match.

In one thrown grab, a single duck, and a heavy shove, Pantha had Mammoth pinned beneath her with one arm and one leg twisted uncomfortably above his back.

"_Uno! Dos! Tres!_" Rosabelle yelled. The referee had fallen asleep during the past minute. "And the Pantha is victorious yet again!"

"I swear! Next time! I swear!" Mammoth roared as his much shorter friend dragged him off the mat.

"Shut up, barf brain! You're making my head hurt with all your whining!" the boy yelled, slapping him.

Rosabelle laughed loudly and turned to Garfield.

"You know, Garfield, I think those skinny little noodle arms of yours could use a good workout. Come, to the weight room!"

"Please no…"

"Weak! Do not be so weak!"

--X--

Garfield moaned pitifully as he dragged his feet through the empty doorway, leaving a trail through the layer of dust that had settled on the floor. The door had been propped up against the wall, to be fixed later.

Victor cautiously poked his head up from behind the counter.

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah."

"Phew." Victor helped Garfield to the couch, where he collapsed, groaning in pain.

"Hey, man, sorry for ditching you with Rosabelle. I was scared, you know?" Victor rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's okay. I understand." Garfield motioned towards the refrigerator; he wanted an ice pack. "Rosabelle's really nice. She's just really…"

"Scary?"

"Exactly."

"So what happened to you?" Victor asked as he rummaged around for an ice pack.

"Well, I got to watch her wrestle some poor sap who got his shoulder dislocated. Then she made me train with all these weights and pulleys and levers for a few hours nonstop." Garfield shuddered. The memories came flooding back as he retold his experience to Victor.

_"Only four hundred more, Garfield!"_

_"My arms! I can't feel them!"_

_"The strong do not give up! Three hundred ninety and nine left!"_

_"Augh! It burns!!!"_

_"After these set of pull-ups, you may have a two minute break for water. Then, we do crunches!"_

_"Nooooo!"_

"Ouch."

"Exactly. Hey, did you know that Dick and Kory are back together?"

"I heard. Pretty good news, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So, what do you want for dinner? Take-out?"

"Nah, I'm too tired." Garfield yawned and promptly fell asleep. Victor chuckled and moved to the door to shut the doorway close.

--X--

AN: Pantha is a beast. :D  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	5. Near Torture with Kitten

AN: I think this was one of my favorite chapters. :D  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Near Torture with Kitten

_Ding dong._

Garfield yawned noisily and sat up. He scratched his armpits and smacked his lips. The alarm clock read 4:00 am. Victor probably wouldn't wake up until 8.

_Ding dong._

He slowly dragged himself out of bed and walked into the living room. Garfield stumbled around until he found a glass and began to fill it up with water.

_Ding dong. Ding dong._

"Whaaaat?" Garfield drawled. He set the glass down and trudged over to the front door. "Who is it?"

"Open up, Gar. It's Dick."

"Ohhhh. Is that who it is?" Garfield laughed in his half-asleep state. He fumbled with the safety chain and pulled the door open. Dick marched inside, his lips set in a thin line. "Duuude. What's up with yo-your face? It's all like… maaaaaah."

"Garfield, wake up." Dick snatched the glass filled with water and splashed it over his friend.

"Pf! Pft pfffft!" Garfield spluttered. "Dude! What was that for?"

"I needed you wide awake. I have a favor to ask of you." Dick said.

"And you needed to ask me at 4 in the morning?" Garfield wiped himself off with a dishcloth. "What's so important that you have to disrupt my beauty sleep?"

"As much as you need it, this is more important. Bruce set me up on a date with the daughter of one of his business partners. Her name's Kitten." Dick said, grimacing.

"Kitten, eh? Do you have a photo?"

Dick pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. The girl in the photo was smiling cutely, had shoulder-length blonde hair and bright blue eyes that twinkled.

"She's cute!" Garfield exclaimed.

"Good. Glad you like her, because you're going on the date for me." Dick said, shoving the photo back in his pocket, wrinkling it further. "You're taking her to the Jump Central Mall at 8, then taking her for lunch at Madame Rouge's French Emporium at noon, and hang out at the mall again until dinner, which is at Trident. You know, that fancy seafood restaurant that Garth works at. Then you take her back to Bruce's office around 9."

"Sounds like fun. How come you don't want to take her?" Garfield asked, examining the neatly written schedule that Dick handed him.

"Because, she's a bit- I mean, I'm already with Kory, so I can't really go… you know? I promised Kory I'd take her to the zoo today, anyways."

"Oh. I guess it makes sense. Sure! I'll go!" Garfield smiled.

"What? Just like that?"

"Yeah! She's pretty cute, too!"

"Oh… well… have fun." Dick left, a confused expression on his face.

--X--

"Where are we going? Tell me! Where?" Kitten demanded, arms folded tightly in front of her.

"To the Jump Central Mall. Remember?" Garfield gently reminded her.

"I thought Dickie-poo was taking me. Why are you taking me?" Kitten frowned.

"Dick is busy today. I'm his much better looking fill-in." Garfield grinned cockily.

"Hmph. Dickie-poo is way cuter than you." Kitten slumped down in the car seat.

--X--

Garfield and Kitten walked through the mall. Kitten had refused to let Garfield hold her hand or her arm, and insisted that Garfield carry her many shopping bags filled with expensive designer clothes.

"And then I was all like, girl, you cannot be serious! And she was all like yeah, I am. He was _so _out of it. And then I said bitch! No way! And you know what she did?" Kitten turned to Garfield.

"Yeah?" Garfield huffed under the weight of Kitten's purchases.

"She walked away from _me, _just because she got some text from the Senator, or something. Stupid! Such a lame excuse!"

"Uh huh. Whatever you say."

"Gosh! You're so slow! Walk faster, Gary!"

"It's Garfield."

--X--

"Table for two, please. Under the name of Richard Grayson." Garfield said, rubbing his sore arms and holding out a handwritten note and verification seal from Dick. Thankfully, Kitten had agreed to stuff her purchases in the trunk of Dick's car, which he had allowed Garfield to borrow.

The broad-shouldered waiter grunted and led them to a small table hidden in the corner of the restaurant. A little sign read 'Reserved for Grayson.' A lit candle flickered on the pure white tablecloth, and an ornately decorated glass vase held a single blood-red rose. A tall woman with shoulder length jet-black hair approached them.

"Ah, you are ze Grayson couple? I am Madame Rouge, owner of ze establishment. I hope zat everything is satisfactory?" the woman spoke with an accent that Gar couldn't decide if it was French or Russian.

"No! It's too dark, and too cold. Turn up the heater, for my sake!" Kitten said angrily.

"Kitten, Kitten, it's gonna be okay." Garfield took off his jacket and held it out to her. "Here, you can wear this."

"Ew, hell no! Like I would be caught wearing that thirty-dollar rag of yours! And you! French lady! Aren't you supposed to take our orders?"

"Monsieur Mallah will take your order shortly." Madame Rouge said, looking at Kitten with obvious disgust. The broad-shouldered waiter walked over at a nod from Madame Rouge.

"Good. Get me a latte. And some bread. But not that fatty oily stuff with that gross spinach dip. Whole wheat. And no butter!"

"Zat will come shortly." The waiter called Mallah bowed deeply and backed away.

"Ugh. Weirdo ape freak. He totally looks like an ape. Dontcha think, Gaylord?"

"It's Garfield. And yeah, I guess so."

"Haha! Totally. Oh my gosh, wait, I got a text from Jade." Kitten whipped out a see through phone, yet no wires were visible within it. The screen projected a holographic display, which Kitten began poking vigorously. "Oh my gosh… no way… no way… ew! Ha… oh my gosh… yes!"

Kitten pushed a button and the display vanished. "Gertrude, guess what? Jade Nguyen, that daughter of that big medicine company guy, finally broke up with Roy Harper, the kid of that really poor guy who owns an archery range. Like, I can't believe it took her so long to do that! Roy was such a bastard. All he cares about are his family and friends. Dumb, huh?"

Garfield narrowed his eyes and didn't comment, nor did he bother to correct Kitten's mistake concerning that his name was not feminine.

--X--

"Gloucester, pleaaaase? Can you buy these shoes for me?" Kitten batted her eyelashes at Garfield, holding up a pair of shiny heels. He couldn't clearly see the price tag from his angle, but he could tell there were a whole lot of zeroes.

"No. I don't have enough money. And it's _Garfield._" Garfield said with an air of finality.

"What? No! I want them! I want them want them want them!" Kitten yelled, stomping her foot.

"And I can't buy them buy them buy them! You know why? Cuz I can't afford anything in this entire shop! Not even a shoelace!" Garfield swept his arms around him.

"Oh my gosh, you're so mean! I bet Dicke-poo would've bought all the shoes in here for me!" Kitten pouted.

Garfield sighed and rolled his eyes.

--X--

"Here we are. The Trident." Garfield stopped the car, which was filled to the brim with shopping bags, most of which were covering part of the windshield.

"What? I can't hear you. And get these bags off me!" Kitten said, her voice muffled beneath piles of her purchases. After several minutes of yelling from Kitten and yanking from Garfield, he managed to get her out of the car.

"Ugh! This place is so tacky. I mean, seriously, _octopuses?" _Kitten said. Garfield looked around.

Two sides of the entire restaurant were enormous glass walls which curved together, separating several thousand gallons of water from the diners. The bright aqua water housed octopi, swordfish, giant squid, and all sorts of crazily-colored fish. Garfield swore he even saw a couple coelacanths in the corner and a few small sharks that darted around the aquarium. An enormous sunfish lazily waved its fins in his direction, and a sea turtle floated near the top. One particularly large Tiger Shark swam in circles, gazing beyond the glass wall.

"This place is amazing!" Garfield gasped. The entire restaurant was bathed in a gentle blue glow, giving the place a sort of dreamlike ambience.

"Glad you think so. This restaurant cannot go beyond perfection; it has already reached it!" a man with a thin mustached said proudly. "Welcome to the Trident, where perfection is never enough! You must be the Grayson couple."

"Technically, the Logan couple."

"Technically, we aren't a couple."

"Yes, yes. Come, let me show you to your table!" the man weaved his way through dozens of tables until he reached one that leaned right against the glass wall. A giant squid paused right in front of it, staring right at them.

"Ew! Gross! Get that thing away from here!" Kitten pushed Garfield in front of her, as if to shield herself from the cephalopod.

"Hm? Is our perfection not to your liking? I would be obliged to apologize, but I won't. Banchi, go!" the man tapped the glass, the squid propelled itself away.

"So rude!" Kitten huffed. The two sat down across from each other. Garfield gazed into the aquarium, right into the eyes of a swordfish. It stared back at him for a few seconds, and swam away.

"Here are your menus, perfectly adapted to fit every customer's liking, whether you've been here or not." The man procured tall embroidered menus set in soft coverings.

"Er- I'm a vegetarian." Garfield said.

"Oh? Is that why you're such a twig?" Kitten smiled mockingly. "It's almost like you're anorexic!" Garfield ignored her.

"No problem! As I said, our selections are perfect for everyone. We have several varieties of seaweed dishes, and kelp salads."

"Great! Then I'll have the seaweed salad with the seaweed soup." Garfield handed the waiter his menu.

"I want caviar! Give me caviar, with that fish over there!" Kitten pointed at a shark that was gliding above them.

"No!" Garfield blurted out. "Shark populations are decreasing, and they shouldn't be eaten!"

"It is perfectly okay. We breed our own fish, crustaceans, and cephalopods in our private farms in our property in the back." The waiter said. "I will bring your orders shortly. Please enjoy the perfection of the restaurant!" He walked away.

"Ugh! I hate this place! It smells like fish!" Kitten wrinkled her nose.

Garfield sighed. It looked like he had a long night ahead of him.

--X--

Garfield trudged into his apartment. Victor was playing his handheld video game on the couch, and Dick was sitting at the kitchen counter. Kory was making a smoothie, tossing berries and other fruit into the blender with a sort of recklessness.

"So, how was it?" Dick asked.

"Awful. Kitten is such a spoiled brat." Garfield scowled. "Thanks for making me take her, Dick."

"Look, I'm really sorry. But I had an obligation." Dick nodded towards Kory, who seemed oblivious to their conversation.

"Whatever, dude." Garfield flopped down next to Victor.

"Who wants a smoothie?" Kory held up the blender, which held a thick purple liquid.

"Uh, what's in that, anyways?" Victor asked, setting his console aside.

"Strawberries, oranges, an apple, a mango, raspberries, a few grapes, a banana, a bunch of blackberries, some coconut…"

"No thanks." Victor laughed.

"Did we even have those fruit?" Garfield asked.

Dick laughed.

--X--

AN: Kitten is fun to write. Don't you just _love _her?? XD  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	6. Theme Park with Melvin

AN: Children can be fun when they're not spilling soda on your pants. :)  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Theme Park with Melvin

"You want me to do what?" Garfield looked at Rachel incredulously. Three small children hid behind her legs.

"I want you to watch over them for the day. I'm going to the beach with Kory and Dick, so I can't babysit them." Rachel said, absentmindedly rubbing the boy's spiky red hair.

"B-but, what about Victor?" Garfield sputtered. He had had his whole day planned out: breakfast of cereal and chocolate covered strawberries, TV until lunch, which would be a tangerine salad at Toni's place (she was a greater cook than he would have thought), a comedy movie at the theaters by himself (or with a date, if he managed to find a girl before then), dinner of tofu and rice, then some more TV until he felt like sleeping. Now his whole schedule was thrown out of whack. The little girl smiled shyly at him.

"Victor said he needed to help Karen watch over those foreign exchange twins from Spain. They're only nine, but they already trashed half of her apartment. I think they also chewed up her couch." Rachel said blandly.

"Oh…" Garfield hung his head in defeat.

--X--

"Alright, you guys wait here!" Garfield firmly said to the three kids who were strapped in the back seat of his car.

"But I'm hungwy!" the red-haired boy cried, chewing on a soggy blanket.

"Hungwy! Hungwy!" the baby repeated joyfully.

"Timmy and Teether wants ice cream." The girl said matter-of-factly.

"Well, we'll get ice cream after I talk to Toni." Garfield said. "Oh, and what's your name?"

"Melvin."

"Alright, Melvin. Make sure your brothers don't get out of the car. I'll be back in two minutes." Garfield got out of his car and strolled up to the front door. He knocked on it a few times, and explained the situation to Toni once she opened the door.

"Aw, that's cute." Toni smirked, peering around Garfield. Melvin waved from the open door.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't my choice." Garfield rubbed his neck.

"I think it's really sweet of you to do that." Toni waved back.

"Hey, you wanna come with us?" Garfield perked up hopefully.

"Er, sorry. I'm going out later." Toni said.

"Oh… alright then. Bye, Toni."

"Later!"

--X--

"I want ICE CWEAM!" Timmy screamed loudly. Teether giggled and drooled on the car seat.

"Yeah! I heard you! Melvin, can you clean up Teether's drool?" Garfield asked, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Okay."

Well, at least she seemed to be cooperating.

--X--

"Where aw we?" Timmy asked loudly. Garfield gripped his hand tightly, Melvin holding on to his other one. Teether was riding his shoulders.

"We're at the theme park. I thought we could spend the day here." Garfield said, leading the kids to the front gate. "I have a VIP Season Ticket, so you guys can get in for free."

"YAAAYYY!" Timmy cheered. Teether laughed and clapped his hands.

"Thank you for taking us here, Mr. Garfield." Melvin said politely.

"No problem!" Garfield smiled down at her as they passed through the turnstiles.

--X--

"Melvin! Melvin!" Garfield called frantically, shoving other park-goers aside with reckless abandon. "Melvin!!!"

"Yeah?" the little girl popped up beside him and took hold of his left hand.

"My gosh, Melvin! Don't run off like that!" Garfield scolded. "Oh, great. Where's Teether and Timmy?"

"I think they went to the water park section." Melvin pointed to a fenced in area crammed with shrieking kids dancing around in a half-foot deep pool. Several dozen parents hovered anxiously around the edge, ready to swoop in and snatch a kid up the second he or she slipped the slightest bit.

"Oh. I guess they'll be fine there." Garfield shrugged. "Don't you wanna go play with them?"

Melvin wrinkled her nose. "Too many people. Bobby doesn't like crowds."

"Bobby?"

"My friend." Melvin pointed to empty air beside her. Garfield decided to humor her.

"Ah… right. Come on, Melvin, Bobby, let's go get some snacks." Garfield gripped her hand tightly and led her to a small overpriced ice cream shack. He bought her a small cone and an extra large for himself. They silently licked their chocolate ice cream at the sticky tables.

"Here, Bobby." Melvin held her cone up beside her head and held it there for a few seconds. She brought it back to her mouth. "I don't think Bobby likes chocolate."

"Well, what does he like, then?"

"Pistachio and mint."

"O-kay, then." Garfield looked at her curiously. "Hey, what does Bobby look like?"

"A giant teddy bear. He's really strong, but he likes staying invisible cuz he's really shy. I think he's still scared of you."

"Aw, don't be that way, Bobby." Garfield grinned at the air beside Melvin. "I'm friendly! I won't bite!"

Melvin held a hand to her ear. "Bobby says you're fine. But he just doesn't like these crowds."

"Well, tell Bobby that he'll be fine as long as we stick together, okay?"

"Okay." Melvin paused. "Bobby says thank you."

--X--

"Are you _sure _you want to go on this ride?" Garfield looked up at the impossibly high drop tower. A fresh batch of riders was slowly raised up to the very top. They seemed to hang there for a second, and then they plunged all the way to the bottom in less than four seconds. Their screams mingled with the smell of fried onion and hot dogs.

"It looks like fun. Are you scared, Mr. Garfield?" Melvin asked innocently.

"No way! Come on, let's go!" the line was practically nonexistent, so they reached the front before Garfield could catch his breath. He had been praying that Melvin would be too short for the ride, but it turned out that she was just an inch over the limit.

"Yay! Let's go sit there!" Melvin pulled him to a pair of seats facing the mountains beyond the park. "Bobby, you wait there!" she called to the fence. Garfield tried to stop his legs from shaking as he was strapped in by a park attendant.

"Keep loose articles off your person, don't pull on the safety bar, don't kick off your shoes, if you are pregnant or experiencing any other medical conditions do not ride the Plunge Tower, enjoy the ride." The man droned, pulling the bar over Melvin's tiny frame.

"Uh… I think I may be pregnant." Garfield smiled nervously at the man. He looked at him blankly.

"Boy or girl?" he asked sarcastically. "Enjoy the ride." He pressed a little red button on a control panel. The circle of seats lurched as they slowly began to rise up.

Ten feet…

Twenty feet…

"You scared, Melvin?" Garfield chattered.

"Nah. The view's pretty." Melvin gazed out towards the mountains, seemingly unaware of the fact that they were now at least seventy feet above solid ground.

Gravity took its affect on them.

"AAAIIIEEEEE!!!" Garfield screamed as the wind pulled his face up. He could hear Melvin's bright laughter against the whistling wind.

Then they were back at the ground, and the bars were hissing as they were lifted off of them.

"Hope you enjoyed the ride don't forget to collect any belongings the trash can is at the exit." The man droned. Melvin giggled as she had to drag a petrified Garfield to the gate.

--X--

"Oh, oh, let's go play that game!" Melvin pointed at a booth with several people attempting to spray water into a hole the size of a dime. She was carrying an armful of large stuffed animals. Garfield was drinking a large cup of root beer.

"Sure, why not?" Garfield shrugged. He handed the guy at the counter a couple dollars and sat in front of one of the water guns. Melvin took the one next to him.

"Bobby, watch us play." She said over her shoulder. Garfield smiled.

"You have ten seconds to play. 100 ml gets you a small prize, 200 a medium, and 300 a large. No refunds. And… begin!" the man slammed a buzzer.

Garfield pressed the little button and a jet of water sprayed out of the gun. But it didn't hit its mark. By the time Garfield finally managed to get a bit of water into the hole, the buzzer sounded.

"And the winner is this young man's little girlfriend!" The man laughed jokingly. Melvin picked out a large purple turtle for herself. She added it to her growing pile of stuffed animals.

"Dude! She's not my girlfriend! She's only what, six?" Garfield gaped at the man. He laughed again.

"Take it easy, kid. It was just a joke!" the man laughed.

"Come on, Mr. Garfield. I see another game booth." Melvin tugged his hand.

--X--

"Did you guys have fun?" Garfield asked.

"Yes!" the three children chorused. His front seat was spilling over with Melvin's winnings.

"I'm all wet now!" Timmy said loudly. His hair was plastered over his face, and his shirt was dripping water. Teether nodded in agreement. He, too, was soaking wet.

"Well, you guys _were _playing in the water."

"Timmy spit at boy." Teether said.

"Tattletale!" Timmy yelled. He lightly punched his brother on the shoulder.

"Guys, stop it!" Melvin said, pulling them apart. She leaned over to the front seat. "Thank you for taking us to the park today, Mr. Garfield!"

"Yeah! It was loads of fun!" Timmy said happily. Teether giggled and chewed on his thumb.

"No prob! Let's go get some ice cream. I'm starving!"

"Yaaaaay!"

--X--

"Rachel!" Melvin shrieked happily. She leapt into the teen's arms.

"Hey, Melvin. Did you have fun with Garfield?" Rachel hugged her and put her back down.

"Yeah! We went to the theme park, and Timmy and Teether played by themselves in the water area, so I got to spend the whole day just with Garfield!" Melvin said excitedly. Half her face was covered in dried ice cream.

"You left the boys _all by themselves_?" Rachel glared at Garfield dangerously.

"Ah-well- about that…" Garfield stuttered.

"I'll deal with you later." Rachel hissed. She turned back to the three kids, smiling. "Come on guys, let's go get you cleaned up." She led them into the bathroom with one last glare at Garfield.

Dick snickered. "You should know better than to get on Rachel's bad side."

"Why would you leave Timmy and Teether unsupervised?" Kory frowned.

"Augh! Not you guys too!" Garfield flopped down on the couch.

--X--

AN: More Raven/tiny trio friendship fluff is needed in the archives. X3  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	7. Forensic Investigation with Rouge

AN: Chill, it's not _really _a date. X3  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Forensic Investigation with Rouge

"Dick! What's up, man?" Garfield held up a hand for a high-five. Dick ignored it.

"Listen, Garfield, I need your help."

"What for?"

"That guy called Red X sent a threat letter. He figured out that I'm dating Kory, and he said he's gonna attack her if I don't give myself up."

"Dude! No way!" Garfield gaped at him.

"I'm serious." Dick's expression was grim. "He already stopped by Kory's place, and if it hadn't been for her sister's… ferocity… she would have gotten hurt."

"Blackie scared off _the _Red X?" Garfield couldn't help laughing.

"Which is why I'm hiring an investigator to catch Red X and stop this foolishness." Dick said. "I've already found one. Her name's Madame Rouge. She also owns that French Emporium."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Garfield asked. "It's not like I'm going to help out… help…"

Dick nodded.

"Dude! Why?"

"Madame Rouge normally works with her partner, Monsieur Mallah. However, Mallah injured his arms in a bowling accident, so she's requesting a replacement assistant. Just someone to take notes and carry her equipment around."

"Why me?"

"Because, no one else wanted to do it."

--X--

"I trust everything is filled out?" Bruce Wayne asked the tall woman, handing her one last stack of paperwork.

"Yes. Have you found me another assistant?" Rouge asked, carefully filing the papers away in bag.

"My son, Richard, promised a strong young teen to help you out. He's on his way right now." Bruce said.

"I vas expecting a man. A grown man." Rouge wrinkled her nose. "I do not normally vork vith children."

"Richard said he's reliable." Bruce said reassuringly. "The purpose is, anyways, to stop Red X's threats. He's become more than a nuisance, especially after he crashed Richard's birthday party. Now he's targeting Richard's friends."

"I have vorked vith these types of cases before. It should not be so difficult." Rouge said. "By the vay, vat is the name of this… assistant I am to be receiving?"

"Garfield. Garfield Logan."

--X--

Garfield sat in the cold leather seat of the compact sports car, twiddling his thumbs together. Madame Rouge had accepted him with no complaints, but with no smiles either.

"So, um… where're we going again?"

Madame Rouge sneered. "I vould not expect anything better from a child such as yourself. Remain quiet and do not make any trouble."

"I can do that." Garfield said meekly.

"Good. You vill carry my bags, and nothing more." With that said, Rouge swerved the car into the driveway of the Anders Mansion with a smooth flick of the wheel. She heaved a heavy bag into Garfield's arm and got out of the car without waiting for him. Garfield sighed and lugged the bag out. It looked like he had a long day ahead of him.

Kory stood outside the door, nervously tapping her fingers against her arms. Her expression brightened as she saw Rouge approaching her.

"Good, good! You're here." Kory said with an air of relief.

"Of course. I do not cower out of such situations." Rouge said, looking down at Kory.

"O…kay. Blackie said Red X was trying to break through that window over there." Kory pointed at a slightly cracked window just beside the front door. Madame Rouge scoffed.

"Amateur burglary work. A real expert vould have attempted to break in through a basement, or perhaps a second story vindow. It vill take no time at all to determine the identity of this Red X." Rouge said. She turned around. "Child! Hurry up! Ve do not haf all day!"

"Coming." Garfield grunted, hoisting the bag over his shoulder. "Hey, Kory."

"Garfield! I didn't know you were into forensics."

"I'm not."

"Okay. I'm going in. Call me out if you need anything." Kory opened the front door.

"Trust me. Ve vill not." Rouge said. "You! Garfield! Bring my equipment here. Hurry, hurry! Oh, do not drag the bag like zat! You blundering idiot!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Garfield said frantically as he finally reached her. Rouge picked up the bag with one hand as if it weighed less than a pound. She opened it and pulled out several items that Garfield couldn't identify and laid them out in a neat semicircle before her.

"You. Stand over there, by those disgustingly bright rose bushes. Keep out of my way." Rouge said, picking up what looked like a measuring tape.

"I can definitely do that." Garfield shimmied a good twenty feet away and settled down next to a bird bath.

--X--

Thirty minutes later, Garfield decided to walk over to see how Madame Rouge was doing.

"Did I not tell you to keep away?" Rouge scowled, pouring a goopy material into a shallow indentation in the fine soil.

"Sorry. I got bored."

"Then go play with the girl."

"Watcha doing?"

"Zat is not of your concern."

"Jeez. Rude much?"

Madame Rouge suddenly stood up, glaring down at Garfield. The boy cowered in her shadow.

"I vill not take these menial insults from an insect such as yourself. Begone!" Madame Rouge snapped her fingers at him and knelt back down to whatever she was doing.

"I… can do that." Garfield scurried away.

--X--

"So, how's it going so far?" Kory asked as they sipped lemonade beneath a wide umbrella.

"Boring. Madame Rouge won't let me do _anything_." Garfield sighed, picking a lemon seed out of his glass.

"Yeah. Despite being one of the most respectable forensic detectives in the country and in France, Madame Rouge has been well known for her cold demeanor and aloofness." Kory said, as if reciting from a written script.

"Where'd you hear that?"

Kory rolled her eyes. "One of my friends practically worships the woman. She kept going on and on about all this nonsense about Rouge's college days, or something."

"Really? What kind of nutcase would idolize that person?"

"You probably know her. Everyone calls her Jinx." Kory said, stirring her lemonade with her straw.

"And speaking of the devil!" the pink-haired girl herself was walking towards them, grinning.

"Jinx!" Kory stood up to hug her friend. "I was expecting you to show up, actually!"

"I wonder why?" Jinx asked sarcastically. She didn't acknowledge the stunned Garfield's presence. "Oh, there she is! Madame Rouge! Madame Rouge!"

She sprinted over to the forensic detective, who frowned. Garfield and Kory watched as Jinx chattered excitedly to her while Rouge attempted to push her fan away.

"You do know we dated once?" Garfield asked, feigning hurt.

"She told me it wasn't serious. Just a gig to pass a lazing evening, she said." Kory said. "Besides, she's with Wally."

"Kory! Kory!" Jinx came running back to them, flapping a piece of paper in front of her. "Guess what! I got Madame Rouge's autograph! She even gave it to me for _free_, as long as I never bother her again! Too awesome! Hell yeah!"

"That's great." Kory laughed.

"I'll catch you later. I've gotta show this to Wally!" Jinx grinned, clutching the paper close to her chest. She glanced at Garfield. "Oh. Hey Gar!"

"Hey-" Garfield stopped mid-wave as Jinx ran off.

"Well, that went fine." Kory smiled teasingly.

"Augh. I'm going to go help Madame Rouge." Garfield stalked away.

--X--

"Measurements of Footprint A are 13 by 6. Footprint B is two inches deep, four meters away from Footprint A. Are you recording this?" Madame Rouge looked up.

"Uh… uh… yeah!" Garfield finished hastily scribbling the data in the notebook Rouge had tossed to him along with a pen.

"This information vill be very important as to deciphering the identity of this delinquent. You had better be doing a good job." Rouge squinted her eyes at him.

"Of course! Of course!" Garfield said, trying to balance the notebook on one arm. Rouge sighed and shook her head.

"Incompetence. Alas, there is no other option. Very well. Ve shall continue. Evidence A is three inches away from blood splatter B, vich is two inches in diameter, uneven perimeter, possibly fell to the left while suspect has been running away."

"Got it."

"Vindow cracks are uneven, most likely caused by blow from blunt object such as a stone, vich I believe is… there." Madame Rouge pointed at a slightly scratched up rock lying a few feet away. "It is… four feet away from window, six feet away from blood. Possible cause of blood? Undetermined."

"Got it."

"The footprint casts should be done by now. I vill extract them. Vere did…" Madame Rouge's slanted eyes fell upon Garfield's shoes, which were standing upon a small rubbery surface.

"Oh! Woops!" Garfield jumped away. He had been standing on the casts.

"You infernal idiot! You haf destroyed half of ze cast! I vill personally punish you!" Rouge's hands stretched out for Garfield's neck, curved in like talons.

"Whoa, whoa, save the meat for later, will ya?" Blackie smirked, standing in the shadow of a maple tree from where she had been silently watching the duo. "Get back to work, Rouge. We didn't pay you just to strangle little kids." She sauntered back inside.

"Unreasonable vhelp." Rouge muttered. She set to prying out the undamaged casts. "You. Garfield child. I do not require your help any longer. Go avay."

"I can do that."

--X--

"Don't you _ever _set me up on a wacko date like that again, you… you… dickwad!" Garfield jabbed an accusing finger in Dick's chest. They were standing in front of Bruce's office building,

"Bad pun. It wasn't a date. It was just a business setup. You do know that we're paying you?" Dick said, handing Garfield a check.

"I… I still won't forgive you, dude!" Garfield said weakly, drooling at the number on the check. "Never! Never! Never!"

"Uh huh." Dick smirked.

"Did you find out who Red X is?" Bruce asked Madame Rouge.

"According to the evidence found at the scene… it is a teenage boy by the name of Zeppelin. I cannot be certain. He has created several fake identities, causing a muddle up vith the information on the networks."

"Any other info?"

"He comes from a poor family. No parents. No school. Bad record vith the authorities. Lives vith his grandfather." Rouge said, shuffling through papers.

"Good work. I'll be sure to send you your check in approximately two days." Bruce said, shaking her hand.

"Hmph. This case vas almost too easy. Good day to you, Monsieur Wayne." And with that, Madame Rouge zoomed away in her sports car.

"She told me about the incident with the footprint cast, Garfield." Bruce turned to Dick and Garfield.

"It was an accident, sir! I swear!" Garfield said, eyes wide. Bruce chuckled.

"I understand. It didn't hinder Rouge's progress and results, so I guess there's no harm done. Richard, come."

"Later, Gar." Dick went inside with Bruce, leaving Garfield standing alone in front of the towering skyscraper.

--X--

AN: Woosh! There will be no pairings. That is all.  
It feels like Gar was OOC in the chapter...  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	8. Supervising Chaos with Karen

AN: And here's Bumblebee. It was rushed, so don't expect much quality. Youtube also took down all posted Teen Titans episodes (stupid Youtube) so I couldn't find any Titans East clips. So, as a result, I can't remember much of Bumblebee's personality, and had to resort to reading other fanfics. Unfortunately, most of them were either Bee/Speedy or CyBee so I ended up reading only one or two Titans East friendship fics.  
Mas y Menos are also in here, because they're that cool.  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Supervising Chaos with Karen

Garfield strolled down the near empty street, clutching a bag of fruit to his chest. It was about 6 in the morning.

"Man, what'd you have to go and wake mse for?" Victor had groaned as Garfield shook him awake an hour earlier.

"I'm craving a smoothie. Can I borrow some money?" Garfield had said matter-of-factly.

"What are you, pregnant?" Victor asked groggily. Nevertheless, he chucked his wallet at Garfield, ignoring that fact that his roommate was in possession of his driver's license, credit card, and cash.

And so Garfield ended up going to the 24/7 minimart at the corner of the street to purchase the necessary ingredients for his smoothie. He licked his lips. He could practically taste the fruity concoction already.

"¡Movimiento!" a voice yelled from behind him. Before Garfield turned around, he found himself sprawled on the cold concrete, his fruit splattered all around him. He moaned in pain and looked up. A pair of red shoes were standing right in front of him. They belonged to a short boy with a curl of dark orange hair sticking from his forehead. Another boy identical to him stood beside the red shoes-owner. Garfield shook his head. He thought he was seeing doubles.

"¿Hey, hombre, por qué usted consiguió de nuestra manera?" one of the boys said. The other stuck his tongue out at the stunned Garfield.

"Whazzat?" Garfield said stupidly. He looked to his side. "Dude! My fruit!"

"Manuel! Manolo!" a thin African American teen with two fluffy buns sticking out of the sides of her head ran towards them. "What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Ese individuo consiguió de nuestra manera." The boy on the left said.

"Sí. Él era lento." The boy on the right nodded in agreement.

"Oh my gosh, is that you, Garfield Logan? I am _so _sorry!" the girl yanked him up with surprising strength. Garfield stared at her blankly for a second. "It's me, Karen Beecher! Remember? High school, the archery team, that arrow accident…"

"Oh yeah. Hey Karen." Garfield unconsciously rubbed his butt. "How's it going?"

"Not good." Karen scowled. "I volunteered for the Foreign Relations Club, and they stuck these two little twins from Spain with me for six months. They're a pain in the ass."

"¡No somos de España! ¡Somos de _Guatemala_! ¡Usted idiota!" one of the boys said angrily.

"Can it, Manolo." Karen said threateningly.

"Soy Manuel." The boy said.

"Y soy Manolo!" the other boy said.

"Argh!" Karen gritted her teeth. "I can't tell the difference between them!"

"I think Manolo is missing a tooth." Garfield pointed out. Manolo grinned, showing off the gap between his front teeth.

"How the hell did you figure that out so fast?" Karen turned to him accusingly.

"Please don't hurt me!" Garfield cowered. Karen Beecher had been well known for her sharp temper and assertiveness in high school. There wasn't a single guy who wasn't afraid of her, or dared contradict her.

"Chill, Gar." Karen rolled her eyes.

"¡Srta. Karen! ¡Quiero los molletes y la torta!" Manuel said loudly.

"¡Sí! ¡Y porciones de café!" Manolo yelled.

"Hey, Gar, can you understand Spanish?" Karen asked, ignoring the twins' demands for food.

"I took one semester of it in my freshman year." Garfield said.

"Great! You're going to help me watch after them today, 'kay?" Karen grabbed the twins by the scruff of their necks to stop them from zipping around them in circles.

"Ah- I can't really-"

"I said _you're going to help me, right_?"

"Y-yeah…"

"¿Qué? ¿Por qué este idiota está viniendo con nosotros? ¡No!" Manuel and Monolo shouted in unison.

"Can it!"

--X--

Garfield's jaw dropped open as Karen opened the door to her apartment. Pieces of furniture were strewn about, food was splattered all over the walls, and he swore he saw little muddy footprints on the ceiling.

"Yeah. It's bad, ain't it. And it's all thanks to these little guys." Karen glared at Manuel and Manolo. They grinned cheekily and dashed inside.

"So, um, what do you need me to do?" Garfield asked, stepping over what was probably the leg of a chair.

"Make breakfast for the twins while I clean up." Karen said, kicking the debris to one side of the wall, revealing a soft carpet on the floor that Garfield hadn't noticed before.

"¡Sr. Garfield! ¡Háganos las crepes y las galletas!"

"¡Sí! ¡Crepes y galletas!"

"Uh, pancakes and waffles. Got it." Garfield rummaged through the sticky cabinets, pulling out a frying pan and a waffle iron. "You guys know where the pancake mix is?"

Manuel and Manolo stared blankly at him.

"They're just messing with you." Karen said, holding an armful of torn pillows. "Just set them with some cereal and they'll be fine."

"Oh. Okay." Garfield shoved the pan and iron back in the cabinets. He walked over to the fridge and opened it, only to be greeted by a blast of moldy air.

"Holy monkey fudge! What's that!?" Garfield slammed the door shut, trying not to gag. "It smells worse than my own socks!"

"Manuel and Manolo. What else do I need to say?" Karen scowled, dragging half a couch behind her, stuffing spilling out behind her.

--X--

"Hey Karen! What's up?" a voice yelled from the front door. A tall boy with dark, shoulder length hair sauntered in. Another teen with short orange hair followed behind him.

"¡Sr. Roy! ¡Sr. Garth! ¡Funcionamiento! ¡Es un monstruo!" Manuel and Manolo ran by them, laughing maniacally.

"Get back here, you little creeps!" Karen yelled, chasing after them. The twins dashed behind the two teens' legs.

"Woah, woah. What's going on?" Garth asked, trying to hold Karen back from strangling the boys.

"They smeared my lipstick all over the bathroom walls!" Karen said furiously, reaching for Manuel's neck.

"Aw, they're so playful." Roy smirked, running a hand through his hair. He looked past Karen and waved. "Hey Garfield."

"Roy! Garth." Garfield grinned at Roy and glowered at Garth and set his mop down. Karen whipped around.

"Quit slacking!" Karen yelled, still grabbing at Manuel.

"I think… this is a bad time." Roy said awkwardly. "Let's get outta here, Garth."

"Good idea. See ya later, Green Bean." Garth swaggered, smirking at Garfield.

"Pretty boy!" Garfield yelled after him.

By the time they left, Manuel and Manolo were already hiding on top of the fridge, an irate Karen screaming at them to stop getting mud up there.

--X--

"Ugh. I don't know how much more I could take." Karen groaned, holding her head in her hands. Manuel and Manolo had finally calmed down and fell asleep in their room.

"They're like little tornadoes." Garfield nodded solemnly. At least they had gotten Karen's apartment cleaned up. The walls and ceiling were gunk free, but most of her furniture had been too damaged to be kept. Karen would have to buy a new couch and four chairs.

"I might as well keep them on leashes." Karen grumbled, snatching the remote up and turning on the TV.

Garfield looked at her. When she wasn't screaming at the twins (or at him), or scowling all the time, she was actually kinda pretty.

"Hey… Karen. Wanna go catch a movie before the twins wake up?" Garfield asked hesitantly. He cringed, expecting Karen to yell a flat-out no.

"Oh. Uh, sure." Karen raised a brow. She turned the TV off.

--X--

"Don't tell me you were scared the whole time." Karen smirked as they exited the theater. She had insisted on watching a horror/thriller movie called Parasite Swarm, or something like that. Most of the film had consisted of swarms of mutated wasps and hornets eating innocent people alive.

"N-nah! That was the b-best movie ever!" Garfield stuttered. He took a sip of his soda. Most of it slopped all over his front. "It was sooooo funny, I was p-practically screaming! Y-Yeah! That's why I-I was screaming!"

"Sure. Bees are so interesting. They're no bigger than a finger, yet so many people fear them." Karen said thoughtfully. "Did you know that a lot of people think bee flight violates the laws of aerodynamics?"

"You like b-bees?" Garfield turned to her in surprise. Karen laughed.

"Well, sure. I think they're kinda cute."

--X--

"Thanks for taking to the movies, Gar." Karen said cheerfully as she opened the door. She gasped sarcastically. "It's a miracle! Nothing's broken."

Garfield sighed in relief. If the twins had managed to destroy everything again, he would have probably had to help fix the place up. Again.

"¡Sr. Garfield! ¡Srta. Karen! ¿Vea? ¿Vea? ¡Éramos buenos!" Manolo shouted as he and his twin sprinted towards them.

"¿No nos dejan todo solos otra vez, por favor?" Manuel cried. They clutched Karen's ankles, burying their faces in her shins.

"What did they say?" Karen asked, awkwardly patting the boys on their heads.

"I think they don't like being left alone." Garfield said in astonishment. "They were scared."

"Well, waddya know? The speedster twins really do like me, after all." Karen said in amusement.

"Ha ha! It's like they're magnetically attracted to you! Get it? Get it?" Garfield grinned, nudging her with an elbow.

"…No. Not really."

"Oh."

--X--

"Where were you the whole day?" Victor asked as Garfield entered their apartment. He was flipping through channels on the TV.

"Remember Karen Beecher?"

"Yeah. Always called me Sparky, and second best archer in high school behind Roy Harper. Big Queen Bee, too." Victor shuddered. "She was one scary girl."

"I had to help her watch over these two foreign twins, Manuel and Manolo for the day."

"Dang. How'd it go?" Victor asked, checking him over for any wounds.

"Not that bad, actually." Garfield said, taking a can of soda from the fridge. "Karen's actually kinda nice."

"Good joke."

--X--

AN: Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	9. Trick or Treating with Kole

AN: Happy Halloween!  
4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Trick-or-Treating with Kole

Garfield couldn't remember how he got into this situation. One minute he was trotting along happily with his pillowcases of candy alongside a scantily clad caveman and a pink-haired mage, and then the next minute he was trapped inside a coffin with a madman about to cut his head off. Boy, did things get out of hand that night. But… maybe we should start at the beginning before we get to details.

--X--

"Happy Halloween, Gar!" Victor said cheerfully, mussing up his friend's hair. Garfield was sitting at the table, eating a bagel. "I'm going out to a party this evening, so you're stuck all by yourself, okay?" Victor grabbed his car keys and jacket.

"Dude! Why didn't you invite me?" Garfield said, patting his hair back in place.

"It's Garth's party. Remember what happened last year?" Victor asked.

"Oh yeah… well, it wasn't my fault! I thought he said-"

Victor shut the door as he left their apartment.

"Nice." Garfield sighed. He had no plans for this evening, the one night of the year that he could prank to his heart's content, the one night he actually had an excuse to ask for candy from complete strangers, the one night he could scare his friends and laugh his ass off about it much later when the resulting head wounds healed. Halloween was his favorite day of the year, besides April Fools. And he had no idea what to do.

Garfield left the apartment, walking down the sunny streets. Maybe he could find Rachel and convince her to go trick-or-treating with him…

"You! Small boy!" someone called from behind. Garfield turned around. It was a tall, gaunt man with vague monkey-like features, dragging a petite girl behind him. The girl looked royally pissed, occasionally kicking the man and nibbling at his hand that was grasping her arm. Her hair was an interesting shade of bright pink.

"Yeah?" Garfield stopped to face them. He had never seen those people before, so he was rather startled and confused.

"You will take my niece trick-or-treating tonight. No objections! You will do as I say!" the man commanded.

"Uncle Arthur! Stop bothering random people on the streets!" the girl said angrily, kicking him again. Garfield looked down and noticed that the man's legs were covered in little bruises. The girl looked at him apologetically. "I'm Kole. I'm really sorry my crazy loon of an uncle is yelling at you. We all think he has some mental issues."

"Silence! I do not have issues of any kind!" the man said. He turned to Garfield. "I am Dr. Arthur Light, 1517 Crystal Lane, inquire STAR Labs medical branch for further information on physical checkups and vision tests." Behind him, Kole twirled a finger around the side of her head, mouthing the word "crazy."

"I'm a little too old for trick-or-treating… sorry." Garfield sad, backing away from the odd pair.

"I said there will be no objections! You _will _take my niece with you tonight, and you _will _keep her occupied while I conduct more research on a lightbulb that can blind people!" Dr. Light said, glaring at Garfield.

Without another word, he shoved Kole at Garfield and quickly ran away, laughing and snorting to himself.

"I'm so sorry. You don't have to do anything for me." Kole quickly said, turning to go after Dr. Light.

Garfield decided what he was going to do tonight. "No, no, wait! I can take you, really! I'm Garfield."

"Nice to meet you." Kole smiled. "If we're going trick-or-treating then, I think you need to meet my brother."

--X--

"Who he?" a large lump of flesh and muscle grunted, pointing a thick finger at Garfield.

"Gnarrk, this is Garfield. He's taking us trick-or-treating tonight." Kole said. "Garfield, this is my older brother. We all call him Gnarrk."

"Gnarrk!" the guy said happily.

"He doesn't say much." Kole said.

"Candy!" Gnarrk said, suddenly hugging Garfield in a tight bear hug.

"Uh, I like you too, big guy." Garfield wheezed. Gnarrk dropped him.

"That's his way of saying thanks." Kole explained.

"Costume!" Gnarrk clapped his hands.

"Dude! I nearly forgot!" Garfield slapped his forehead. "We need costumes!"

"Well, then let's go!"

"Gnarrk!"

--X--

The sun was hanging on the edge of the horizon, casting a glow across the city that seemed rather ominous considering what day it was. Garfield, Kole, and Gnarrk were making their way down the streets, which were void of any other trick-or-treaters.

"Where people?" Gnarrk grunted, looking around. He was wearing nothing but a simple loincloth, a necklace adorned with fake animal teeth, and socks. It was a costume that didn't leave much to the imagination.

"It's only six o'clock. Do we really need to be out this early?" Kole asked. According to her, she was dressed up as a mage, though Garfield didn't really see it. All she wore was a crinkly light blue shirt, a long skirt, and rubber boots. She also held a long walking stick made of a light-refracting crystal, which she claimed was her magic staff.

"Duh! Or else all the good houses will be gone!" Garfield said. He had duct-taped a bunch of miniature rubber ducks all over a plain white t-shirt and a large plastic magnet to his hat.

"I don't think it really works that way. What are you supposed to be, again?" Kole asked.

"A chick magnet." Garfield laughed at his own clever idea.

"Those are ducks." Kole pointed out.

"Well, if I used rubber chickens that would just look plain weird." Garfield said. In his hand were three extra large pillowcases (swiped from Victor's bed) with hastily sewn pockets on the outsides to hold extra candy if needed.

"No offense, but you already look strange." Kole giggled.

"Quack!" Gnarrk said happily, pushing a wheelbarrow in front of him.

"Gnarrk, that idea is pure genius. I should have brought the car with me! Then we could hold more candy." Garfield said thoughtfully. "Maybe even Vic's SUV…"

"That house looks good." Kole pointed out a house sandwiched between two buildings with plastic pumpkins grinning cheerfully on the front porch. They marched up to the door. Garfield pounded on the painted wood screaming, "Trick-or-Treat!"

"What? What? What do you want?" a pudgy old lady with pale skin opened the door, squinting her eyes. "Oh, what do we have here? Three little darlings cavorting around the town, hm? Well, I have something better than candy! Pie!"

She shoved three steaming pies oozing with filling into their hands and quickly shut the door.

"Thanks!" Garfield called, shoving his fingers through the crust. The door opened.

"Such nice manners! Well, if you ever need more pie, be sure to come back to Mother's house!" the door shut again.

"That was odd." Kole said. She handed her pie to Gnarrk, who had already polished off his and licked the tin clean.

--X--

"Dude, I am stuffed." Garfield moaned, lugging his loot behind him. Two of the pillowcases had been stuffed to the brim and were tied close. His third one was halfway full. Gnarrk's wheelbarrow was spilling with candy. "I think I ate too much candy."

"Yummy!" Gnarrk scooped up a handful of sweets from his wheelbarrow and shoved them into his mouth, wrappers and all. He chewed loudly, spitting out soggy plastic.

"That's the spirit! We're not done yet!" Garfield said, picking up his pace. The moon was rising, the sun having already retreated behind the distant mountains.

"Hello, children." Garfield screamed momentarily, failing to recognize the tall, gaunt man who stepped out from behind a tree. Then he realized it was just Kole's uncle. Kole and Gnarrk greeted him unenthusiastically. "I see you have succeeded in getting an inordinate amount of candy." He licked his thin lips, his tongue running over his little beard.

"Yeah! The people this year sure are being generous." Garfield patted his fat cases of candy.

"It looks like you have quite a burden there, young man." Dr. Light eyed the pillowcases. "Allow me to ease the weight." Without warning, he seized one of the bags and ran off into the streets, cackling madly and knocking other trick-or-treaters out of his way.

"Dude! What the hell?" Garfield yelled, too stunned to run after him.

"I am so sorry!" Kole said. "Like I said, he's a complete nutcase."

"Mean." Gnarrk pouted.

"Yeah. Who steals candy from kids?" Garfield huffed. They were at the edge of the city, nearing the lonely road that led to the suburbs a mile out further. There was nothing but a bunch of fields and abandoned shacks by that road.

"Maybe we should stop soon. My mom told me not to lead Gnarrk out of the city limits." Kole shivered from the cold, clutching her own smaller pillowcase of candy.

"Want more." Gnarrk frowned. He pointed at his wheelbarrow, which had lost some of its contents to Gnarrk's hungry hands.

"One more house, then." Kole said.

"How about that one?" Garfield looked at a large wooden house that creaked in the wind. It had evidently been painted a bright cyan some time before it was washed away from the weather, but only half of it was colored as if the painter had lost interest midway through the job. A winding dirt trail led up to it from the front gates, lined with bushes trimmed into curious shapes such as shoes and lamps. One bush in the shape of a hand beckoned to them, daring them to approach the house.

"It's kind of creepy." Kole shuddered, examining the rusting gates with hazy blue eyes.

"Which means there's bound to be more candy!" Garfield said confidently. He shoved the gates open, his rubber ducks bouncing against his shirt. "Come on!"

"Smells bad." Gnarrk muttered, rocking on his once-black socks nervously.

"Come on!" Garfield repeated. He was standing by a bush shaped like a bone. Kole and Gnarrk followed him reluctantly up to the front door. It had a glove painted on it. Garfield knocked hard on the door. Almost immediately, it swung open.

"Welcome, welcome all!" a thin man wearing a white mask, a top hat, a suit, and a swishing black cape swept his arms open. "Welcome to the amazing Mumbo Jumbo's theater home!"

"Hey, you're that guy from Dick's birthday party! The one who was pulling hamsters out of your ears and mouth!" Garfield said, remembering how Toni had shuddered in repulsion at the magic act.

"Don't remember a thing. Come in, come in! You, my dear fellows, are just about to witness the greatest magic act of all time!" the man ushered them in. Candy from Gnarrk's wheelbarrow spilled onto the dusty carpet. They were standing in a large hall that was lit by a grimy chandelier with a wooden stage set up in the center. There were more people, kids, to be exact, dressed up in their Halloween costumes. They were huddled together, glancing around nervously. It looked like they weren't the first ones to knock on that door with the glove.

"The show's just about to begin!" Mumbo Jumbo flicked a switch, illuminating the room with fluorescent lightbulbs lining the high ceiling.

"Smells bad." Gnarrk repeated.

"You! Young man! You shall be my lucky volunteer!" Mumbo grasped Garfield's arm and dragged him up to the wooden stage. Garfield quickly tossed his pillowcases to Kole. Mumbo pushed him into a large box made of the same material as the stage and swept his arms out to the little crowd of trick-or-treaters. Kole looked helplessly at Garfield, shrugging her shoulders.

"And now, in front of your own very eyes, I shall slice this young man through and through with this little toy!" Mumbo held up a saw. He flicked the tip, and it wobbled.

"Dude, I did not agree to this." Garfield tried to step out of the box, but a gloved hand held him back.

"Watch as he disappears!" Mumbo shut the lid. Everything went dark. Garfield pushed on the lid, but it held fast. He began hyperventilating. This was getting out of hand.

"Hey! Let me out!" Garfield pressed an ear to the lid, but the sounds he heard were muffled.

"With this very saw, I will cut his head off!" Garfield could hear Mumbo's loud voice boom to the crowd. Even through the thick wood, he could hear the loud gasps and few cries of fear. Garfield held his breath, sweat pouring down his face. He squeezed his rubber ducks, only slightly comforted by their little squeaks. Everything was silent. Nothing cut through the box and sliced his neck. Seconds trickled by. Still nothing.

Without warning, Garfield felt his wooden prison tipping over. He screamed and rammed into the lid, but the box landed on its back. Light poured in as the box was pried open. Garfield sat up, rubbing his eyes. A police officer was staring at him worriedly.

"Hey, kid, are you okay?" the man asked. Garfield looked around. The trick-or-treaters were trooping out of the house and Mumbo Jumbo was being detained by two burly cops. Kole and Gnarrk stood aside, waiting patiently for Garfield.

"You're ruining my act!" the magician yelled, kicking and squirming. "Let me go, I say! Let me go!"

"What happened?" Garfield asked.

"This guy," The officer thumbed at Mumbo Jumbo, "was let out from the mental ward a few days ago. That proved to be an error. He wasn't scheduled to be released for another few months."

"Dude…" Garfield said in awe. "But he was at this birthday party, it was just a couple weeks ago-"

"Mumbo Jumbo was submitted to the ward just a few days after that. It was a brick to the head that caused him to do all those crazy things." The officer shook his head pitifully as he watched the magician squirm in the grasp of the cops as they slapped handcuffs on him.

"But Bruce said no one was hurt…" Garfield remembered the bricks that had flown through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

"It's easy to miss just one person when there's over a hundred."

"Wow."

--X--

"That was really exciting." Kole said, setting down her crystal walking stick.

"Scary." Gnarrk simply said.

"Yeah! Check out all this loot!" Garfield crowed. Even without the case stolen by Dr. Light, the amount of candy he got was enough to form a two-foot high pile on the carpet. They were in his apartment, waiting for Victor to return. "Sweet! Fourteen Choco-choco Bars!"

"Gnarrk!" Gnarrk's mood was lifted as he glanced at his wheelbarrow overflowing with candy.

"Yo!" Victor came in, throwing his coat aside. "What's up, y'all? Who's your friends, Gar?"

"Kole and Gnarrk." Garfield said absentmindedly, counting his candy.

"How's it going?" Victor shook hands with Kole. Gnarrk seized him in a brief bear hug.

"Trick-or-Treating was fun." Kole smiled.

"Yeah! I almost got killed by a mentally instable madman!" Garfield said proudly.

"Why am I not surprised?" Victor snorted. "You guys need a ride home?"

"No thanks. We can walk. Well, we'd better get back before Uncle Arthur freaks out. Bye guys." Kole said as she and Gnarrk left.

"So, did you get to prank anyone this Halloween?" Victor asked, snatching a candy bar from Garfield's pile. Garfield didn't notice, as he had slapped his face with a hand.

"Aw, man!"

--X--

AN: Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	10. Eating Contest with Tara

4-28: Scene dividers fixed.

Eating Contest with Tara

"And then I was all like, no way, girl! But then she was all like hell yes! And I said oh no he di'in't! And she was all up in my face and-"

"Seriously, Garfield, stop talking like that." Rachel said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"You told me to entertain myself." Garfield said, sticking out his tongue.

"I meant _quietly_." Rachel answered, scowling. She was gripping her book so tightly the pages were wrinkling. The two of them were sitting on Garfield's couch, watching some action movie in mute. Victor had paid off Rachel to watch Garfield for the day to ensure he didn't get into any trouble while Victor went off to do whatever he did on his free days. Normally, he would have trusted Garfield to be all alone, but after a particular incident in which the boy had somehow gotten toothpaste all over the ceiling a mere two days ago Victor decided that Garfield was not to be trusted alone with an apartment. Or toothpaste.

"This is boring." Garfield pouted. He slumped back into the cushions. Rachel sighed and resumed to reading her book. After several minutes of watching two kung fu warriors silently fighting each other, Garfield glanced at Rachel sneakily. She was seemingly deeply absorbed in her readings. Making sure she didn't notice his movements, Garfield snatched up the remote and began stabbing at the volume button with his thumb.

"ARGH!" Rachel yelled, clamping her hands over her ears as the TV suddenly began roaring with the sounds of shouting, grunting, and low-budget sound effects. The book fell on the carpet with a barely audible rustle.

"Hwa! Hwa! HAI!" a blonde man in a gi said loudly as he swiped at his opponent.

"Hwa! Hwa! HAI!" Garfield imitated the actor, flailing his skinny arms around.

"GARFIELD!" Rachel shouted. She grabbed the remote and quickly jabbed the mute button. Garfield sat down and looked at her sheepishly.

"I was bored." He said for the fourth time that morning.

"And I told you to keep the movie on mute for a reason." Rachel said, quickly composing herself. "I'd like to read my book in _peace_."

"You're no fun." Garfield huffed, crossing his arms together. "Watcha reading, anyways?" He picked up the book from the carpet. "_Little Women_? What's that about? Midgets?"

"Your lack of intelligence fails to astound me." Rachel said, seizing her book from him. She sighed and closed the book. "This is hopeless. Let's go out."

"You mean like on a date?" Garfield smiled hopefully.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Keep dreaming."

--X--

"Oooh! Rae! Check that out!" Garfield pointed at a large sign leaning against a window. He brushed past several pedestrians to get closer. Rachel followed him without comment. "Eating Contest! Winner gets _one hundred _dollars!"

"Your hospital bill will probably cost more than that." Rachel said.

"Come on! We should enter it!" Garfield grabbed her arm and dragged her towards the entrance of the restaurant.

"What do you mean "we"?" Rachel said. Nevertheless, she allowed Garfield to pull her along with him. Big flashy letters screamed "Billy's Numerous Pies" at them as they entered.

The restaurant smelled of freshly baked pastries, grease, and coffee, which Garfield sniffed appreciatively. The booths held many large-bodied customers who were stuffing their sweaty faces with burgers, fries, pies, hot dogs, and the likes. The tiled floor was sticky with soda. A skinny teen stood at the counter wiping spilled ketchup off with a stained towel. The lighted menu behind him flashed intermittently, urging Garfield to purchase a three dollar special that came with a medium soft drink and fries.

"This place smells of cheap fast-food and cholesterol." Rachel said dully, walking behind Garfield and looking at the obese costumers with evident distaste.

"It's my kind of place!"

"I thought you were a vegetarian."

"I am. But that doesn't mean I can't have fries and pies."

"Welcome to Billy's Numerous Pies, where "lot's is never 'nough." May I take your order." The teen at the counter said monotonously with the tone of someone who had lost all hope for a bright future in life. He was wearing a yellow cowboy hat that looked much too large on his head.

"I want to enter the eating contest." Garfield said.

"Alright! Lookies like we've gotta 'nother contestantee!" another teen wearing a large red cowboy hat said, grinning at Garfield and Rachel. "I am the owner of this here fine establishment, the one'n'only Billy! Well, there's also all mah other brothers'n cousins 'n stuff. And they're all also named Billy. Y'all just in luck! We's were just 'bout to giv away our grand prize to that there missus, since she was the only one t' enner, an'all." He pointed to a skinny blonde girl sitting at an empty counter in the corner, chewing mildly on some fries with disinterest.

"Is she the only other entrant?" Garfield asked.

"Yessir, I reckon she is. No one else really wanted t' enner, said hookie-ho stuff 'bout her being a bottomless vacuum, or som'thin like that. You're welcome t' particeepate against her, if y' want. I'll git mah employee here t' time y'all. You just gotta eat 'bout twenty pies in th' fastest time possible."

"This way." The cowboy-hat guy said in the same drab tone from before, leading Garfield and Rachel to the counter. The girl looked up at them with bright blue eyes and smiled.

"Are you too chicken to go up against me too?" she asked.

"Why, no, I am not." Garfield grinned, sliding up to her. He held out a hand. "Garfield Logan. What's your name, you beautiful angel who must have fallen from heaven, because I hurt… wait, that's not right."

Rachel snorted. "Smooth."

"Tara Markov." Tara shook his hand, giggling.

--X--

"First one to finish all their pies wins the one hundred dollars. There will be no shoving, no pushing, no poisoning, no projectile vomiting, or any other of the sort." The cowboy-hat guy said. There were two large stacks of steaming pies sitting in front of Garfield and Tara. Rachel sat to the side, engrossed in a little book she had hidden in her jacket pocket.

"Good luck." Tara said, smiling at Garfield.

"I don't need luck." Garfield said cockily, winking at her.

"Begin." The cowboy-hat guy said. Garfield grabbed his first pie from the stack and dove into it, ignoring the fork set to the side. He didn't look up once as he shoved handfuls of crust and cherry filling into his mouth. After a minute, he licked his tin clean and tossed it to the side. Garfield looked over to Tara.

"Don' shtop, you'll loosh." Tara said, her mouth stuffed with pie. She had two empty tins set neatly beside her. Much to Garfield's surprise, she was eating with her bare hands like he was.

"Oh, right!" Garfield took another pie and smashed his face into it, sucking noisily. This one was blueberry.

"Disgusting." Rachel muttered, peering over the top of her book.

"Blah!" Garfield gasped, lifting his messy face from the clean tin. He was already full. Tara was on her fourth pie. "Hundred dollars… must win!" Garfield dug his hands into another pie. Apple.

"You're shlowing don!" Tara said mushily, her mouth outlined with various shades of blue, purple, and red. "I'm not even –urp- full yet!"

"Neither am I!" Garfield shoved the last bit of apple filling in his mouth. The next pie proved to be harder than the first two. Garfield imagined that he felt a bit queasy, but he ignored the uncomfortable feeling rising up in his throat as he shoved handfuls of filling and crust into his protesting mouth, which was stubbornly refusing to chew faster.

Moments later, that proved to be a mistake.

"…Ugh." Rachel simply said at the sight of spewed pie all over the tile flooring. Garfield was leaning against his knees, panting. Tara stopped eating and looked over.

"Great. I'll get a mop." The cowboy-hat guy said unenthusiastically.

"I don't feel so good." Garfield groaned, holding his stomach.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked concernedly, patting his back. Garfield managed a weak grin.

"Y-yeah! I'll be fine!"

"We're not held responsibl' fer any damages don 'ta y'all while in this here fine establishment, as previously stated in th'employee hand book." Billy said, coming over. The cowboy-hat guy was already meekly cleaning up the remains of Garfield's rejected pies with a mop. Billy quickly ushered them to the exit. "Come again, an'have a nice day!"

--X--

"Are you sure you're okay?" Tara asked for probably the seventeenth time that day.

"Yeah! Yeah! I feel great!" Garfield flexed his scrawny arms as if to prove his point. "Sheesh, that Billy guy was such a cheapskate. He didn't give you the hundred bucks."

"I'm cool with that. I was just in for the free pies." Tara shrugged.

"So, what should we do now?" Garfield asked, folding his arms behind his head.

"You're still under house arrest." Rachel spoke up.

"Then why did you let me go out?"

"You were getting on my nerves." Rachel answered calmly. "It's what I do with my cat. It worked with you, didn't it?"

"Meow?" Garfield pawed playfully at Rachel. Tara giggled.

"You're funny!" Tara smiled.

"Really?" Garfield perked up.

"Hey, do you want to… uh, I dunno, maybe go out for dinner with me tonight?" Tara asked shyly.

Garfield's brain froze. He stopped in his tracks and nearly fell over. A girl just asked him out. A _real _live girl, and not a little kid or some old lady, a girl _his age_, just asked him out. _On a date. _The words tumbled around in his brain like and Rachel turned around when they noticed that Garfield was no longer walking in between them.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked, waving a hand in front of Garfield's face.

"Ugga- ga- uh…"

"Snap out of it." Rachel lightly slapped Garfield. "She only asked you out."

"Dude! Hell yes! I'd love to!" Garfield grinned widely, wringing his hands. "Uh, I mean, yeah. That'd be pretty cool."

"Great!" Tara giggled. "Pick me up at six tonight?" She took out a pen and scrawled her address onto Garfield's hand.

"Sure!"

"Okay, I'll see you later! Bye Garfield, Rachel!" Tara turned to the right at an intersection.

"Dude! I totally scored!" Garfield pumped his fist up and down as he watched Tara's retreating figure.

"You sure did. Now let's get back to your apartment before Victor returns." Rachel led Garfield across the street.

--X--

Garfield stood in front of the large mansion with the evening sun just beginning to set behind him. Tara's manor was large enough to rival Kory's, with a verdant front lawn and polished windows that winked at him in the twilight. He rang the doorbell, the echoing chime drifting out an open window on the second floor.

"Yes?" a stately elderly butler answered the door before the chime stopped ringing.

"I'm here for Miss Tara." Garfield answered as politely as he knew how to.

"Tara… I'm afraid she's not available."

"What? Why? We have a date!"

"If you must know, her legal guardian took her out of the city due to unexpected circumstances."

"Who's her guardian?" Garfield asked, peering behind the butler to catch a glimpse of an enormous hall with marble flooring.

"I am certain you've heard of him. Slade Wilson, the owner of Wilson Co."

"Dude! The guy who rivals Bruce Wayne?" Garfield let his jaw drop, temporarily forgetting his manners.

The butler sniffed. "I think I've revealed too much information. If you inform anyone else about Miss Markov's connections to Mr. Wilson, I will assure you that I will come after you myself."

And with that, the man shut the door in Garfield's face.

"Yeah… I got it…" Garfield said dejectedly. He turned around and plodded away.

--X--

"What's wrong with you? You haven't touched your food at all." Victor said, looking over at Garfield. His plate of steamed vegetables sat untouched before him, slowly cooling and becoming soggy. Victor took another bite of his roast beef before leaning across the table and tapping Garfield on the shoulder.

"What? Oh, yeah." Garfield stabbed a piece of broccoli with his fork and brought it to his mouth slowly. He chewed on it unenthusiastically, rather out of character for him.

"Come on, man. You can tell me what's bugging you."

"There was this girl… Tara. We had a date tonight but it was, uh, cancelled."

"Aw, it'll be okay. There'll be more opportunities." Victor said comfortingly.

"Sure."

"You want some corn? I just bought some today. They're in the kitchen."

"With butter?"

"Extra butter."

"Yeah!" Garfield smiled and jumped out of his seat to go get the corn.

Victor chuckled to himself. If anything could make his friend feel better, it was food.

--X--

AN: Ending was terrible, I know.  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


	11. Noisy Conversation with Rachel

AN: What's this? An update? Nooo, that's impossible!  
I shortened the title too, just because.  
Thanks to The Phiend for reminding me about this... a couple months ago. This chapter is waaaay overdue.

Noisy Conversation with Rachel

Today was not a good day for Rachel.

The car windows had been spray-painted a disgustingly bright pink so thoroughly she couldn't even see inside. The windshield had an extra layer of splattered egg matter over the hardened paint and there was what appeared to be (but Rachel hoped not) a dead rat duct-taped to the roof. And, to top it all off, it looked like someone had dragged their claws all along the doors, creating an ugly pattern of scratches on the shiny white exterior. People passing along shot curious glances but were quickly discouraged by Rachel's warning glares.

"Damn." Rachel simply said, her face blank as she examined her vandalized car. Without hesitation she wrenched the driver-side door open. Her worst fears were confirmed. The floor had at least five inches of water sloshing about and the dashboard was wet as well as the leather seat. She had left the window open just a crack last night, but that had apparently been enough to stick a hose through it.

There was no way she could drive her car now in its sorry, vandalized condition. Sighing ever so slightly, Rachel dug her phone out of her pocket and dialed Kory's number.

"Hey Rachel!" Kory said cheerfully. Rachel could hear the rumble of her car in the background.

"Hey. My car was trashed, so I don't have a ride to the beach. You think you and Dick could pick me up?"

There was brief muffled conversation in the background for a second before Kory answered. "I-I'm sorry! We're already halfway there, so-"

"That's fine. I'll call Victor."

"I'm sorry, Rachel." Kory said regretfully.

"It's okay." Rachel reassured. She hung up and dialed a different number, glaring at more people who were slowing down as they passed by her ruined car.

***

"Dude! Your phone's ringing!" Garfield yelled.

"Pick it up for me, man! I'm in the shower!" Victor shouted back.

"Fine! Hello?" Garfield picked up Victor's phone in mid-ring.

"Hi Garfield. Where's Victor?"

"Great to hear you too, Rae."

"Don't call me that. Where's Victor?"

"He's currently in the shower. May I take a message, ma'am?" Garfield grinned. He heard her groan quietly. She knew how long Victor's showers took.

"Alright, listen to me very carefully." Rachel ordered. "My car was trashed and I promised Kory and Dick I'd go to the beach with them today. Give me a ride."

"What's the magic wooord?" Garfield sang.

There was brief static as Rachel sighed into the phone. "_Please?_"

"Now, that wasn't so hard was it?" Garfield said teasingly.

"Seriously. Give me a ride."

"Okay! Okay! I'll swing by your place in a couple minutes." Garfield put the phone down.

"Who was that?" Victor called from the bathroom.

"Rae. I'm heading out to the beach, okay?"

"What? I can't hear you!"

"I'm taking that as a yes!"

***

Garfield pinched himself. He pinched himself again. When that didn't work, he poked himself in the eye. He hadn't anticipated the stretch of highway to be so _flat _and _boring _and devoid of any life, just dried up bushes dotting the sides of the road. It was so boring, Garfield was in danger of nodding asleep.

"Pancakes!" Garfield shouted, hoping the sound of his voice would keep him awake. "Cookies! Fried Chinese noodles!"

"And what exactly are you shouting about?" Rachel asked, reading a novel she had brought along.

"Trying to stay awake." Garfield mumbled, drooping over the wheel. Rachel smacked him with her hardcover book.

"There? Is that better?" Rachel asked sarcastically.

"No. That just hurt." Garfield frowned, rubbing the bump on his head.

Rachel didn't answer, resulting in an extended period of silence between them. After a while, Garfield began to drift off again.

"Hey! Watch the road!" Rachel reached over to grab the wheel and jerk the car back onto the road.

"Oh, crap!" Garfield fumbled with the steering wheel, only causing the vehicle to swerve back and forth a few more times, giving the both of them whiplash. Once the car was back under control, Rachel primly put her towel back in her beach bag (which had spilled out onto the sticky floormat) and glared at Garfield.

"Why don't _I _drive, so you can catch up on your sleeping?"

"Really? You'd do that for me? Thanks!" Garfield didn't seem to notice the annoyance in her voice and slammed on the brakes. He eagerly leapt out the door, slid over the car hood, and waited for Rachel to get out of the passenger side.

Once Rachel had her hands firmly gripped around the (rather sweaty) steering wheel and Garfield had settled in the worn seat, they began on their way again.

***

"Are we there yet?" Garfield yawned.

"No."

"Are there any restaurants around?"

"No."

"Did you bring any snacks?"

"No."

"Are there any rest stops?"

"No."

"But I gotta go!"

"No- wait, what?!"

"I gotta go." Garfield repeated, squirming in his seat.

"Oh, crap." Rachel hissed through her teeth. "We're half an hour away. Just hold it until then."

"I don't think I can." Garfield groaned.

"Stop exaggerating." Rachel fought the urge to smack her companion.

"I'm not!" Garfield whined.

"Fine! Fine! Make it quick." Rachel stopped the car and Garfield quickly hopped out. He found a low, scraggly bush that reached up to his knees. Garfield glanced at the car.

"Don't watch me!"

"I'm _not_!" a vein in Rachel's neck pulsed.

"Yes, you are!"

Rachel sighed loudly and covered her face. "Happy?"

"You're peeking through your fingers."

"Why would I even- you know what, I can just drive off without you. Do you want me to do that?"

"...No."

"Well, there you go. Just do your business so we can get back on the damn road."

"Sheesh, fine."

***

"Awesome! Victor left some CDs in the glove compartment!" Garfield crowed, plastic cases spilling on his lap. He jammed a disc into the player. Seconds later, heavy metal began to blast through the speakers.

"TURN IT DOWN, GARFIELD!" Rachel shouted over the guitars and drums.

"BUT I LIKE THIS SONG!" Garfield yelled back, bobbing his head to the rhythm. Rachel jammed the Eject button and the disc popped out. Garfield shoved it back in defiantly. Rachel pushed the button. Garfield put it back in and stuck his tongue out.

"I'm not in the mood, Garfield." Rachel scowled.

"Oh, come on! You gotta lighten up, Rae." Garfield turned down the music so they wouldn't have to yell.

"Well, when _you '_lightened up', you ended up nearly dropping out of high school. It took an hour-long talk session with Victor and Kory to convince you to take your studies seriously." Rachel pointed out.

"Wha? Oh psh. You're still going to play that card? Tsk tsk, Rae." Garfield smiled and shook his head sadly.

"It's a prime example of how much of a moron you can be."

"A moron with _style_."

"You're really going to try to flirt while we're in the middle of nowhere?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

Rachel groaned. "You need to talk to Victor more often."

***

"Are we there yet?"

"Don't even try."

"Are we there yet?"

"Seriously."

"Are we there yet?"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Oh my god..."

"Are we there yet?"

"Shut. Up."

"Are we there yet?"

Rachel slammed on the brakes and jabbed a finger at Garfield's chest. "Don't make me hurt you."

"... So I'm assuming we're not- wait, Rachel, what are you- AH! OW! OW! STOP THA- OWWW!!"

***

"You know, you can be scary when you're mad. Like a freakin' demon!" Garfield said minutes later, rubbing several bruises and bumps on his head. "And stop buying so many hardcover books. They hurt."

***

"Rachel! You made it!" Kory beamed, running up to their car in her bikini. Dick was right behind her in his own swimwear.

"And it only took one hour of being stuck with this idiot." Rachel elbowed Garfield, glowering.

"Victor couldn't make it?" Dick asked.

"He was taking a shower." Garfield whispered loudly.

"Ah." Dick nodded with understanding.

"We still have a few hours of daylight left." Kory smiled, shading her eyes against the sun. "Garfield, why don't you join us?"

"No." Rachel said at the same time Garfield hooted, "Hell yeah!"

"He doesn't have his swimwear, anyways." Rachel pointed out.

"I'll just buy one at the snack shack." Garfield shrugged.

"Uh... I don't think you can-"

"Or I'll skinny-dip."

"..."

"Garfield, that's just..."

"Ew..."

***

"Man, I am so pissed. You took my car for the _entire _day!" Victor said angrily, glaring down at Garfield.

"You didn't ask, dude." Garfield shrugged. He was busy digging sand out of his ear.

"What the hell were you doing, anyways?" Victor demanded.

"I was at the beach with Rae, Dick, and Kory."

"Aw man, and you didn't even invite me! That's low, man." Victor shook his head with disgust.

"You were taking a shower!" Garfield protested. Victor didn't reply. Even he couldn't argue against it.

"Well... whatever." Victor and Garfield collapsed on the couch. "While you were out having an oh-so fabulous day in the sun, I was helping Bruce investigate with that Red X guy."

Garfield looked up in alarm. "You mean Rouge didn't catch him?"

"X set a decoy. They arrested the wrong man." Victor began flipping through TV channels, though more of a subconscious act. "I helped Bruce search through some data servers' histories of IP addresses and whatnot. Though... I don't think it's much help. But we _did _catch some people downloading illegal music."

"Well, that's helpful to society." Garfield snorted. "You know, Dick and Bruce've been worrying about that Red X dude for a few weeks now. Why can't we all just relax and chill together, like the old days?"

"Who says we can't?"

"Eh." he grunted and reached for a bag of potato chips. "I need a girlfriend."

"You do, man. You do." Victor laughed.

**

AN: I've got to work on writing better endings.  
Next chapter is the last! Hosnap!  
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.


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